It’s that final night of freedom as a single girl or guy – your hen or stag party. Having a final celebration with friends is a great way to have some fun and enhance the sense of excitement and ceremony leading up to your wedding. It’s also a good opportunity for people to get to know each other prior to the wedding and to bring family and friends together. We help you plan a fun, fabulous and unforgettable celebration, whatever your style and budget…

Who’s Organising?

Traditionally, hen and stag events are organised by the chief bridesmaid and the best man respectively. Let the organiser know the maximum cost each guest should pay and, unless you’re the kind of person who likes surprises, have a chat to them about the type of celebration you’d like. Do you want to let your hair down and have a wild night out on the town or would you prefer an afternoon at an exclusive spa with your closest friends? Ideally, this part of the wedding should suit your personality and what you like to do – although always be prepared for a few surprises!

photo credit: Watt_Dabney

Hot Ideas for the Hen Party

A group activity can be a good way to break the ice and get people in the mood for celebration. One of the most entertaining hen’s parties I’ve been to involved having a group pole dancing lesson with a professional fitness instructor, which provided plenty of laughs. Alternatively, you could organise a mini golf tournament with extra dares and challenges, get creative at a craft or cooking class, go for a surfing lesson with a hunky instructor, or stretch your vocal cords by having a karaoke or Singstar night.

Another good girly option for the hen party is pampering: going for a facial, massage or other beauty treatment. This ‘spa-rty’ option is especially good for a smaller group – take your best friends or bridesmaids, and perhaps your mother and your fiancé’s.

If you want to make a weekend of it, hire a bach for a girl’s weekend or go to another city and paint the town red. For fun closer to home, hire a suite in a flash hotel and have a top end night out complete with bubbly, cocktails or fine wines.

In these recessionary times, there’s also plenty of fun to be had at home. Have a black tie themed cocktail evening, a pamper party (give each other beauty treatments, or have a manicurist come in and give you all a treat), or if you’re feeling naughty, why not have a lingerie or sex toy hens party?

Hot Ideas for the Stag Do

Say the words ‘stag do’ and drinking immediately springs to mind. While drinking may well be involved, a fun celebration with the boys doesn’t necessarily have to be a pub crawl. Get physical with paintball, golf, mountain biking, go karting, bowling, canyoning or skeet shooting, and then move on to dinner and drinks. For an event at home, you can’t go past a boy’s barbeque, or perhaps a pizza night.

A boy’s weekend away can be a great chance for the guys to bond and burn off some extra energy. Again, perhaps hire a bach or go to another town to check out the bars and clubs and outdoor adventure opportunities, play a few rounds of golf or go fishing.

photo credit: Big C Harvey

Things to Remember

• We’ve all heard horror stories of bachelor parties gone horribly wrong. Keep it fun and safe so no one ends up in hospital.
• No one wants to look like they’ve had one too many drinks and not enough sleep on their wedding day. Pick a date at least a week prior but up to a month before the wedding, to give everyone the chance to recover and be ready for the big day.
• If you can, plan to have your hen and stag events on the same date, so one partner isn’t sitting at home worrying about what the other one is doing! Even if they are on the same night, don’t get stressed about what your other half is up to. Remember, you trust them – otherwise you wouldn’t be getting married, right? Just enjoy your own celebration.
• The organiser of the event needs to be aware of what the guests can afford. They are also coming to your wedding and probably buying you a wedding gift, so don’t put them under too much financial pressure.
• Many hen and stag parties are progressive events with several different activities, often getting wilder and saucier as the evening progresses! You may like to structure the event so people can attend some elements and not others – e.g. dinner at home, then drinks and dancing in town. This will make it easier for older relatives to attend, and for those with families to join the celebrations when it suits them.
• The organiser needs to communicate clearly on the invites what the length of the celebration is, the dress code, whether the party goers need to bring anything, whether drinks are provided or it’s BYO etc.
• If the event is going to involve alcohol, be responsible and make sure transport is available. Organise taxi vans; dial a driver, or places to stay so no one has to worry about the car keys.
• Don’t forget the ‘Snag-do’ option, where the guys and girls celebrate together or perhaps meet up for a meal and joint party after the day’s adventures.
• Above all, have fun! Of course you’ll still go out with your mates once you’re married, but this is a good opportunity to celebrate your single life with those who have lived it with you.

The giving and receiving of an engagement ring is one of the pivotal points in any couples relationship. The commitment that is being made to another person is very special and unique, and something to be celebrated. Tradition dictates that a man should give an engagement ring to his partner, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be traditional about the type of ring that you give.

Buying engagement rings is expensive business. Not only is there the financial element but there is also understanding the sizes, types, cuts and features of an engagement ring. Most women who know that they are in the type of relationship where engagement is on the cards will stat dropping hints as to the type of ring that they would like.

While the traditional type of engagement ring to go for is of course the diamond ring, there are other avenues for the would-be proposer to explore. Something very different, but still very special are pearl engagement rings. Like diamonds, pearls are a rare and natural feature of nature and the giving and receiving of these symbolizes love.

There are lots of different types of pearl that you can get. There is of course the classic white pearl, and the more perfect the sphere of these pearls the more expensive and exclusive it will be. If you want something a little different, you can go for freshwater pearls. You can get these in all kinds of weird and wonderful natural colors that certainly make for some very interesting ring designs.

When you have chosen the type of pearl that you want to go for you also need to consider the setting. This will be made from metal, and usually with pearls and silver or platinum is the best pairing for the colored pearls, or gold for the classic white pearls.

Whatever you decide, a pearl engagement ring is certainly something very different to give to symbolize your love for another person, so think long and hard before you purchase and make sure that you get something that you partner will love. Check out this engagement ring buyers guide for more information.

Whether truth or myth, the story has been told so often that it’s become an accepted chapter of the family history. But since their son’s carefully planned marriage proposal to me over the summer, his father has been at pains to contradict this scurrilous tale.

Unfortunately there is one fundamental flaw in his PR exercise – neither he, nor his wife, can actually remember how, when, or where the proposal took place.

To some newly engaged it seems impossible that such a momentous event could fade into the recesses of memory, notwithstanding the passage of 30-plus years of marriage. Perhaps this is because our idea of engagement has changed over a generation. What was once a simple pronouncement of future intentions has become an event in itself. It’s almost as if the quest for the perfect proposal has transcended the importance of, and reason behind, the actual decision.

Any bride-to-be will be familiar with the barrage of questions fired at them on that first post-proposal morning back at the office. Who proposed to whom? Where did it take place? Did he have the ring? Had he asked your dad? And inevitably, despite the fact that you’ve been engaged for little more than five minutes, ‘have you set a date?’

Over the years I too have reveled in my girlfriends’ excitement at their pending unions and pored over the details of their partners’ proposals. But I’m ashamed to confess I’ve also secretly critiqued their answers, comparing them to some idealized notion of what constitutes a romantic proposal and pointing out to my partner the things that seemed slightly odd or quirky.

There was the public proposal in front of numerous friends – romantic in its own way, but not overly intimate. There was the groom who introduced the question by asking her to declare how much she loved him (shouldn’t it have been the other way around?). Nor did thrusting a ring over a sink full of dishes with the words, ‘how’ bout it? Impress. While ‘fancy a shag? Fancy one forever?’, got a big thumbs down (try relating that line to your grandmother). Even the champagne helicopter ride to a deserted beach didn’t cut the mustard (far too ostentatious for a simple girl like me).

When I look back at the ease with which I criticized his peers’ attempts, I’m lucky my partner had the courage to propose to me at all. And it was only when he muttered ‘it seems quite hard to get it right’, that I fully understood the impact of my negative comments.

It is after all, a pretty nerve-wracking event for the poor lads, and often the most anticipated moment on your journey as a couple and one that will be scrutinized not just by your girlfriends, but by his mates as well.

The funny thing is, when it does happen to you, none of the perceived quirks or diversions from any accepted notion of romance assume any importance whatsoever. One newlywed friend put it this way, ‘I always thought that where and how it happened would be important. But it was the beautiful things he said and the emotion in his voice that meant everything. The fact that we were lying in bed – which was a strange place for it to happen – was inconsequential.’

In the end, the romance in an engagement is about two people. It’s a look, a sigh, a shared understanding, a connection, a moment in time that can’t be translated for anyone else.

And, in deference to my future father-in-law, it could come with, or without, a beer can and cigarette.

However if you’re stuck for a way on how to propose marriage to your beloved, here are a few ideas which would have your intended squealing with delight!

GO PUBLIC

• For some, a public display of affection is the ultimate intimate gesture. Most movie theaters will let you buy a slide that plays onscreen before the feature. You can design your own and watch as the entire theater strains to see the lucky proposee’s astonished expression.
• Convince the local theater to spell out your marriage proposal on their marquee. Phrase it like a film title: “The Love of a Lifetime, starring (insert names here).”
• Take the stage! Get in touch with the stage manager of an appropriately themed production and propose after the cast’s curtain call (the stage manager will prep everyone and get you in position). Some people have proposed after I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change, a musical revue about relationships running in several cities.
• Have your marriage proposal painted on a billboard en route to his or her office. Park beneath it or await their arrival at work, armed with champagne ready for toasting.
• Take out a full-page ad in a newspaper you know your honey reads daily. Be nearby while they read, lest you miss the look on his or her face!
• Gather all your friends for a big softball game. Give the outfielders signs that spell your intended’s name and, “Will you marry me?” When he or she comes up to bat, signal them to display the signs. Tell your soon-be-fiance that if he or she hits one out of the park, a different kind of diamond awaits him or her!
• Make a list of ten reasons you’d like to marry your beloved. Read them to him or her in front of a crowd, have a singing telegram deliver them, or send them written on note cards one by one over the course of a day (or ten!), with the last card arriving via personal messenger (you!).
• We had to add this one: Create a Web page declaring your love and intentions. Leave your sweetie a clue with the Web address written on it — don’t say a word. After the proposal has been officially accepted (which of course it will be!), he or she can proudly send the page to friends and family.

PERFECTLY PRIVATE (PLEASE!)

• Draw a bath for the two of you and place a floating candle or rubber ducky in the middle with a ring tied around its neck. Make a path of roses leading to the tub.
• Speaking of paths, turn off all the lights in your apartment and make a trail of candles that leads to a circle of votives positioned around a ring.
• Give your girlfriend a foot massage and place the ring on her little toe.
• Send your sweetie on a treasure hunt. Start with a clue at home. Then send him or her on a tour of your favorite spots — all over town, or just around the house. When he or she gets to the last hint, the treasure should be you offering up a ring or other sentimental token. They won’t need another clue to figure out what you mean.
• Sometimes the key isn’t how you pop the question, but where. Find a special place, maybe the bar where you first kissed or the Chevy backseat where you first uh — well, you know. A place that means something to both of you. Once you’re in position, just kneel and ask. Your honey will always remember that you remembered.
• Tie a red velvet ribbon from one spot in your home to another. Attach little notes recalling perfect moments in your relationship along the way. You wait at the last stop, ring in hand.
• You needn’t propose with a diamond ring. Buy any jewelry piece or a watch and inscribe it with, “Marry me.”

SURPRISE!

• Want to really surprise your sweetheart? Cut out the bottom of a big box, wrap it with pretty paper and ribbon, and attach a card that says, “What’s inside the box is a gift to last a lifetime.” “Deliver” yourself to his or her office or front door.
• A surprise trip is sure to set the mood. Blindfolds and intricate secret plans (you’ll have to pack his or her bags) are a must to increase the thrill factor. Once you’ve reached your destination, pop the question.
• Is sweetie a deep sleeper? Slip the ring on his or her finger while they’re dozing and wake them with champagne and strawberries. The gesture will just seem romantic — until they discover a new piece of jewelry adorns them!

THE WAY TO A LOVED ONE’S HEART (THROUGH THE STOMACH!)

• Food is a tempting addition to many successful marriage proposal ideas! Spell out, “Will you marry me?” in M&Ms, jellybeans, or Hershey’s Kisses on the kitchen table, bed, or coffee table. Send him or her in to read it; when they say yes, you can toast your future with a mutual sugar rush!
• Freeze the ring in a homemade Popsicle, and give your sweet two treats in one!
• Surprise your honey with an intricate gift basket. Pile in yummy delicacies — the best chocolate, caviar, coffee — but don’t limit yourself to food. You could also include silk slippers, a book or CD. Hide the ring among all these wonderful presents (in its box, so it doesn’t get lost in the goodies).
• If you’re dining in a fancy restaurant, ask the wait staff to write, “Will you marry me?” in chocolate sauce around the rim of his or her dessert plate.
• Serve a dinner of aphrodisiacs at home and place the ring inside an oyster shell.
• Make your intended breakfast in bed. Propose to him or her while they feel ultra-cozy and pampered.

LET THEM SEE THE KID IN YOU

• Draw a hopscotch board on the sidewalk and invite your honey out for a game. Once he or she has succumbed to a little childhood play, replace the pebble you’re using with the real rock!
• Spell your proposal out in glow-in-the-dark star stickers on your ceiling. Get into bed, turn the lights off, and wait for the inevitable gasp.
• Write “Will You Marry Me?” on the underside of a kite and take flight one warm, breezy afternoon.
• Spell out your proposal with refrigerator magnets.
• Scratch your proposal into the frost on his or her car’s windshield.
• If it’s Easter season, paint one word each from the phrase “Will you marry me?” on four eggs and hide them with the rest, so he or she has to find them all to make a complete sentence! Definitely make “marry” the hardest egg to find. You can throw in other eggs with funny verbs painted on them to throw your egghead off — like kick, tickle, and love!

HOT IDEAS UNDER THE SUN

• Go to the beach with your honey of honeys. Casually build a sandcastle (at a safe distance from the ocean!), and place the ring on the highest turret. Invite him or her to admire your handiwork, then pop the question.
• Go for a sunset sail and propose at sea.
• If you’re vacationing in a warm place (or you live in a warm place, lucky dogs), tie the ring onto your hot thang’s new string bikini — or in the lacing of his surf shorts — and announce that you want to take the plunge!
• While your beloved naps on the beach, sneak away and spell out your intention in seashells. Then go for an afternoon stroll and let the shells do all the work.
• Take your darlin’ to the local Fourth of July fireworks show, and have someone announce your proposal before your whole town.
• Gather your families together for a summer barbecue and make your proposal a family affair.
• Plan a scavenger hunt through a local park. Pack a picnic, and when you get to the park, send him or her along to find the first clue. Once they’re out of sight, make yourself the last clue in a romantic spot with champagne on ice and ring in hand.
• Invite Mr. or Ms. Right to a private pool party and send the ring floating toward them on a raft. (Note: This doesn’t work in Jacuzzis.)
• For a truly classy approach: Write your proposal in sunscreen on your tummy, so that your tan will “stencil in” the words. She will be so touched you’ve taken such an, um, interesting approach, she will accept immediately.

FLYING HIGH

• Hire a skywriter to spell your proposal on high.
• Tongue-tied? Hire a plane to fly a banner with your “Marry me (insert name here)” message written on it. Take your honey to a wide-open space — a beach, park, or stadium — and simply point.
• Hire a plane to draw huge hearts and your initials in the sky. When your sweetie notices what the pilot is doing, tell him or her that your love was heaven sent.

FLOWER POWER

• Flowers always charm people — what else exists solely to look beautiful? (Except your fiance, of course!) String the ring on a ribbon and use it to tie a bouquet of wonderful flowers (daffodils, tulips, lilies, or whatever reminds you of him or her) together.
• Go for symbolic power. Instead of the standard, albeit lovely, bouquet of roses, present him or her with a potted orchid. Put the ring beside the stem (in its box, so it doesn’t get lost in the Spanish moss). The orchid will last a long time, will always be regal, and will bloom time and time again (just like your love).
• Plant a colorful window box of forget-me-nots for him or her. Write one word each from the phrase “Will you marry me?” on four garden markers.
• Sneak into his or her home or office armed with rose petals. In the biggest letters space will allow, spell out, “Will You Marry Me?”

AWWW, SO SWEET!

• If it’s cold and snowy, build a snowman — or snow woman — and set the ring box in his or her stick arms.
• Propose in a different language, or lots of different languages — starting with French, the language of love.
• Buy a baby animal that he or she has always wanted (bunny, kitten, puppy) and loosely tie the ring around its neck. Make a commitment to the pet and each other. Or, substitute a stuffed animal — still fuzzy, but less maintenance!
• Play Hangman and have the phrase be “Marry Me.”

Good luck proposing marriage to your loved one!