Exercising together as a couple is not only great for your health, it’s also important for your relationship – it gives you a shared interest and quality time together, plus it helps to relieve stress that you may otherwise take out on each other.

There’s no denying that couples today are constantly on the go. Researchers have documented what they call ‘rush syndrome’, which kicks in when people find there are just not enough hours in the day to achieve what they want to do. Symptoms of this new ‘disease’ are similar to chronic fatigue syndrome, where energy is replaced by lethargy, and joie de vivre is lacking. Another drawback of our busy lives is that relationships can flounder as time slips by and couples begin to grow further apart. Many couples, therefore, face a double whammy – their health suffers and their relationship becomes more distant.

How to inject a little va-va-voom into your love life becomes a question that many need answered, and what many couples require is sheer closeness of proximity. Without intimacy, sharing, touching and closeness, relationships can become empty, often resembling an awkward friendship! Many couples who see me for guidance and relationship advice speak of marriages, or long term and short term (committed) relationships feeling like flatmate situations. For example, you share the same space, but that special something that once made your relationship unique has faded into the ether. Does this type of progression mean that all is lost? Is there light at the end of the proverbial relationship tunnel? Fortunately, for those experiencing these problems in their relationship, there is hope!

photo credit: Hygiene Matters

Energising your relationship could be no harder than energising yourself, and even better, this can be done with your partner! Both an unhealthy lifestyle and a flagging love life can be addressed in one hit – with exercise! We’ve all heard about the benefits of improving our nutrition and increasing our daily exercise, but have you considered improving your relationship and health at the same time?

Again and again research suggests that if you are feeling better about yourself (and are healthy) there are benefits across the board, particularly for relationships: Attention span and concentration improve, productivity increases, sex drive is heightened, ability to problem solve is enhanced, and desire to be confrontational is minimized.

Need I say more! Indeed, the five points about only scrape the surface of real relationship benefits that can occur if health and fitness are improved. There is also another positive outcome of committing – not only to your relationship but also to an exercise regime – you can exercise with your partner!

Some may baulk at the idea of training with their significant other, who might normally see them looking less sweaty, but do not underestimate the ‘AQ’ or Attractiveness Quotient of working out together. Once you get past the point where muscles ache and the body feels like it’s about to explode, you hit an oasis where biceps flex without much encouragement and abs are no longer considered ‘flabs’. When both of you see the effort the other puts into a regular exercise regime, you are often filled with pride at your partner’s achievement and you may begin to look at each other as less of a flatmate and more of a soul mate.

You may worry about how to keep up with a partner who has a higher level of fitness than you do. But fitness consultants can tailor workout programmes to an individual’s requirements to give you the best results and allow partners to work out together at different levels. The most important part is ‘being together’!

We’ve all heard the stories that proliferate with great monotony about women ‘letting themselves go’ after they’ve snagged their man and had children. This female centred stereotype conveniently seems to avoid the all to frequent images of men whose bellies become bigger that their belts. Letting yourself go is not a gender issue. It doesn’t discriminate and adds more fuel to the argument that as couples we should take up the challenge to work out – improving our health as we reduce the distance that may have grown between ourselves and our partner!

As with any major change, you’ll need to take tiny steps initially so that you’re comfortable with the transition. If your partner is reluctant, try to encourage them to do an activity they enjoy. Here are some quick tips to make the process a positive one:

1. BE organised and start exercising together at a time that suits both of you.
2. Break yourselves in gently with two to three, 45 minute fitness sessions. The first sessions should be relatively pleasant – walking, easy weights and other simple forms of cardio.
3. If you are gym phobic, consult a trainer for a programme that is designed to meet you individual needs and involves outdoor pursuits or indoor sports. You could also take turns to choose an activity – for variety and to ensure you both have a chance to experience exercise you enjoy.
4. If you need extra motivation, you could train for an event together, such as walking or running a half marathon.
5. Never rush to get your exercise fix. This should be quality relationship and health timeout!
6. Reward yourselves at the end of each session with a low fat drink, loads of water or a hug. The reward or reinforcement phase of any exercise routine almost ensures that participants will return for seconds – if the prize is right!

wedding.co.nz/play-together-stay-together/rear-view-of-a-couple-sitting-on-beach/”>There are also a number of sports that cater to both male and female needs in one hit. Netball, hockey, tennis and touch rugby are all popular sports that allow team interaction and all ability levels to come together on the same court or field – often more for fun and exercise that serious competition. Depending on your interests, you could also rollerblade, snowboard or kayak together, or why not learn partner dancing? Any of these sports combined with one or two other workouts will provide you with a routine that leaves you toned, taut and terrific!

People are often very intimidated by the concept of exercise. We are exposed to images of rippling muscles and golden tans, of beautiful women and men who resemble a Greek Adonis. In addition to this, there is often jealousy in relationships when one partner frequents a gym and the other doesn’t. It makes sense then to turn another potential relationship buster into a relationship enhancer. Exercise together, have some fun and learn to play together again!

Family

The great majority of couples envisage having children of their own. But fertility can be a fickle thing – when you’re not trying to get pregnant, you do by accident. And when you want a baby, it can take longer than you’d like. In some cases, there never seems to be an ideal time to start a family. Many couples find themselves putting things off because of financial, career or lifestyle reasons.

But it’s important to take the following into consideration: statistically, a healthy female in her early to mid 20s has around a 20 to 25% chance of falling pregnant each month. In her mid 30s this drops to around 15%, plummeting to less than 5% in her early 40s. Research also shows that a third of women over 35 have some problems getting pregnant, while two thirds of women over 40 experience infertility issues.

While these figures may be alarming, they are merely averages and should act as a gentle reminder that our fertility isn’t something to be taken for granted. It’s best to start talking family sooner rather than later. Try to establish a guideline for timing, ideal age gaps between children and the number of children you can realistically afford – versus how many you’d like in an ideal world.

Bear in mind that most financial advisors work on an average const of $6000 a year per child up to the age of 12, and the $12,000 a year after that. (This, of course, doesn’t take into account private schooling and extracurricular activities.) But you can never put a price on the joy that children will bring you.

Another thing to discuss is how you’ll combine work and child-rearing. Key issues include: who will look after your children before they start school? In some cases, it’s more practical and financially beneficial for the woman to take time off work (or give up work altogether) once a baby comes along. For some women, the decision to return to work is not only influenced by financial factors, but also by the enjoyment and satisfaction she gains from her job, and a desire to keep career options open. Depending on your type of work, the flexibility of your employer and your income, part-time work may be a good option for either parent, combined with some daycare or a nanny.

How you choose to raise your children will have a lot to do with how you were raised yourself. While being a parent isn’t something you can prepare yourself for in advance, it’s important to discuss your opinions on subjects such as discipline, religion, education, money and values.

wedding.co.nz/planning-for-a-bright-future-after-the-wedding/parents/”>If one or both partners have children from previous relationships there are important ‘family’ matters to consider. What does the birth parent expect in terms of their child’s relation to the step-parents? What does the step-parent expect? What role will the new spouse play in the care, discipline and education of the partner’s child?

By discussing all your goals and desires for the future you’re well on your way to making them happen. It’s important to remember that just because you love your partner, it doesn’t mean that you will, or should, share the same views on everything.

Compromise is the key to almost every aspect of a successful relationship. If you’re unsure about anything along the way, do some research or enlist the help of an expert. The information and advice you receive may just make you both rethink your ideas and bring you closer to common ground.

Your marriage certificate may not be the only thing you decide to sign

When Jake popped the question to Annika after three years together, she didn’t hesitate to say yes. But between the engagement party, visits to reception venues and deciding which of her friends to have as bridesmaids, Annika was quietly wondering what to do about their finances. Or rather, her finances.

“I started working part-time when I was 16, so by the time I was 23, I had enough in the bank for a deposit on an investment property,” explains the 29-year-old marketing manager. “By the time I’d met Jake, I’d managed to pay off quite a bit of the loan. Two years into our relationship, Jake decided to start his own design business. While I supported him 100 per cent, since then all his savings have been channelled into his company, which is still getting off the ground, whereas I’ve been increasing the equity in my apartment, as well as supporting him financially here and there.

“As unromantic as it sounds, I realised that I wanted assets to remain my own – I’ve worked hard to pay off a big chunk of my apartment. I’m already sharing my income with him, while he’s living his dream. I don’t begrudge him this at all, but neither do I see why he should be able to make a raid on my bank account or investment property if the unthinkable ever happened.

“I’m confident we’ll still be together in 40 years’ time, but no-one can predict the future. I want to feel secure that if, God forbid, anything happens down the track, I won’t be left skint and bitter. So I made an appointment with a lawyer, who’s drawing up a pre-up for us. Jake was a bit surprised when I told him, but after I explained my reasons, he was OK. He knows I’m independent and that I’m bringing more financially than he is to the marriage, so he couldn’t really argue.”

photo credit: swanksalot

Why have a prenup?

With all the talk of Hollywood prenups, you’d be forgiven for thinking your bank balance has to rival Paris Hilton’s to qualify for one. But that’s just one of many misconceptions that lawyer Jackie Vincent, from Sydney family law firm Watts McCray, is keen to clear up.

“’Prenup’ is the American word,” she explains. “The Australian term is Binding Financial Agreement (BFA) and they became a legally binding document in 2000. There are no official statistics on how many BFAs exist in Australia, but enquiries about them are definitely increasing.”

“You don’t need to be loaded to have one. Obviously you need to have something to protect, either now or in the future, but you don’t have to be a millionaire. A prenup doesn’t even necessarily have to be signed before the wedding,” Vincent says.

So what about the common view that getting a prenuptial agreement means you don’t have the faith in your marriage lasting? Like drawing up a will and taking out life insurance, Vincent sees a prenup as another financial planning tool. “It gives you certainty for the future,” she explains. “You plan all sorts of things in your life, particularly in relation to money, which prepare you for the unforeseen and somewhat unpalatable future. Some people see a pre-nup as being callous or negative, but it’s a safety net – if something does happen, you’re prepared.”

What do prenups cover?

Your prenuptial agreement can cover pretty much anything you want it to, even a monetary or property windfall that hasn’t happened yet. “If you think you might be in line for an inheritance of some sort but don’t actually have it yet, you can make a provision for the future,” says Vincent. “The prenup can also cover part of your assets, while leaving your options open when it comes to the reminder.” In other words, you can cherry-pick what you’d like it to cover rather than having a blanket agreement that includes everything.

The lead-up to a wedding can be emotional and stressful, which is why Vincent is eager to stress that a prenup doesn’t have to be sorted before the wedding. “I’ve seen couples come in on a Friday with the groom saying, ‘I want this signed before the wedding tomorrow!’ The bride is too busy worrying about the cake and picking up her dress, so she thinks it’s easiest to sign without giving it due consideration. I’ve had to slow people down who haven’t thought it through properly.”

The biggest advantage of having a prenuptial is that it’s tailored especially for you. If you end up in the divorce court, you loose control of how long the process takes, how much it costs and have no say in who ends up with what. “When people manage their own finances they can do what they like, but if it ends up in court, that privilege is taken away,” explains Vincent. “The best thing we can do is make people think about their options. It’s all about taking control of your life.”

How do I tell him I want one?

It’s not the easiest subject to raise, but most of Vincent’s clients agree that broaching the subject wasn’t as awkward as they expected. “When it’s in the context of, ‘We need to do a will, take out life insurance… and I’d like to do this, too’, it’s not as problematic as they’ve feared,” she says.

Context is the key, agrees Anne Hollonds, CEO of Relationships Australia: “While it’s not something to bring up on your first date, it’s good to discuss money at some stage early on. The issue of a prenuptial is best not raised as a surprise topic right before the wedding, but as part of an ongoing discussion of finances and your future plans.”

Remember, his first reaction may not be his final reaction, so if he doesn’t seem enamoured with the idea, leave it with him. If you still can’t come to an agreement, couple counselling may be a good idea. As Vincent notes, “prenups are honest and transparent agreements, so they require couples to be honest and transparent with each other.”

Eeek! He wants me to sign my life away!

It’s all very well when you’re the one calling shots, but what if your fiancé casually drops it into the breakfast conversation? First off, don’t start screaming, “So you don’t see our marriage lasting?!” while aiming your cereal bowl at his heart.

“Prenups are an emotional gender issue,” explains Toby, author and chief psychologist. “From the male side, it seems practical and fair, but from the female side, it may feel scary, insecure, pessimistic and rejecting. Feeling emotional is to be expected, but you should talk about it, so he can explain his reasons for wanting to safeguard his assets.”

When Lisa’s fiancé handed her a stack of papers, she had no idea what they were. “When I realised it was a legal document talking about ‘assets’ and ‘dissolution of marriage’, I was like, ‘Excuse me?’ But then I considered how Ben’s former sister-in-law took his brother to the cleaners when they split up. I didn’t love the idea of a prenup, but I understood where he was coming from, and I realised it was an opportunity to safeguard myself. If he was looking out for number one, so was I!”

You’ll probably need time for everything to sink in, so make it clear you need to think about it, then speak to your own lawyer. If he’s adamant about having a pre nup, it’s your responsibility to make sure you benefit from it as much as possible.

“You should look at things that traditionally affect females more than males, such as the effect of having children on your career,” advises Vincent. “Even short-term, taking time off to have a family can affect not just your finances but also your career progression.

If you’re a working mum, you probably won’t be as flexible with your hours, which may affect your chances of promotion.

“If the court make you the primary carer, it will consider the future effect on your finances and career, but won’t compensate you for the past, so protect yourself in the prenup. If you’re not sure what you’ll want once you have a family, you can also agree that the prenup becomes void if you have kids, or that you’ll modify if to reflect your sacrifices.”

Don’t feel like a ball-buster for standing up for your future finances. “These kinds of clauses are becoming more popular” Vincent notes.

“Women are becoming more career-oriented and want some acknowledgement of the sacrifices they’ve made – and will continue making – if they become single parents.”

A sunflower wedding is so cheery for the summer time. You will really have a lot of options when it comes to a flower girl dress for your sunflower wedding. You can choose yellow, or white, or a combination of the two. You can even choose brown, the color of the center of the flower. Here are some things to consider.

A white flower girl dress is very traditional. It will be easy to find an inexpensive white flower girl dress because they are so common. You can easily customize this with a wide yellow ribbon around the waist to go with the sunflower theme. There is a danger of having a little girl in a white dress, though. This is especially true if you are planning on having the wedding outside. You don’t want to restrict the girl’s play, but you also don’t want a lot of stains to show. My mother has the white dress I wore when I was a flower girl for my aunt’s wedding. I was three. To this day, it has a large red punch stain down the front.

A punch stain will show on a yellow dress as well, but a yellow dress will not show every single spot that a little girl will pick up throughout the course of the wedding. If your maids of honor are wearing yellow, you can probably get an adorable dress in the same color.

You will also want to think of the cut of a flower girl dress. Some flower girl dresses will have a pencil skirt to match the rest of the bridal party. Others will poof out toward the bottom. A dress that poofs will give a girl more freedom of movement. She will be less likely to trip and tear something. As long as the dress is not too long, this will be easiest for her to walk down the aisle as well.

As with everything for your wedding, from your Spanish wedding invitations to your centerpieces, you will need to consider the cost. Some people will expect the parents of the flower girl will pay for the dress. If you are expecting this, make sure that you involve the parents in the decision and don’t make it a burden on them. You don’t want your wedding to ruin your relationships.

Everything about weddings is magical, be it the occasion, the music and even the dress. All of these have a history behind it to make it so special. Let me give you an insight on one of the most important things of weddings, which is wedding flutes. Though these wedding champagne flutes appear to be simple wine glasses, there is a history behind it as well. The word flute originated from France where champagne glassware was known as champagne a flute.

photo credit: RLHyde

The peculiar design of these wedding flutes, with a long stemware and a bowl at the top also has some significance. Since champagne has a distinct feature of carbonationthe bowls are designed to retain this carbonation. The wide bowl helps the carbonation to scatter more quickly. Apart from this the long stem of these wedding toasting flutes also plays an important role. The long stem maintains the temperature of the liquid. Therefore, the best way to hold these glasses is at the stem and not at the bowl. Moreover, this special design of wedding flute causes nucleation, a process which causes the bubbles to rise to the top of the glass. So though it appears just a glass it is much more than that since it makes sure you sip your champagne the right way.

Now let me give you a little piece of advice, why not consider these magical pieces as return gifts for your wedding? Since they can be personalized your guest will be more than happy to take back a small piece of your wedding. There are many companies, like Lolita Glasses, out there who deal in personalized wedding flutes. You can also check for the option on the internet. There will be some of the best deals available on the internet. So make your wedding day memorable and let the memories carry on forever.

The lyrics to the song start with ,”England swings like pendulums do, Bobbies on bicycles two by two, Westminster Abbey, the tower of Big Ben, the rosy red cheeks of the little children.” And so it does, the UK indeed swings like a pendulum. Mother of the bride gifts in the UK, are somewhat different from those of other nations. It appears that many mothers of the bride invariably get chinaware as a gift from their daughter’s beau. Chinaware! How boring. One has to ask why mothers in the UK like this anachronistic type of gift. Chinaware has been around for the last couple of centuries and it looks as if it is going to be around for a few more. Even a mother of the bride outfits guide doesn’t really mention chinaware as a gift for a mother of the bride.

In the old days it was customary to give a mother of the bride a gift that could be used in the household. Chinaware was (and still is) considered a useful item. These chinaware gifts would usually be kept in a glass cabinet in the living room and only used on special occasions. Nowadays as “England swings” mother of the bride outfits guide has a slew of gift ideas that a future son in law in the UK could buy for his girl’s mom. According to the wedding experts, purchasing something a little least customary is deemed a better idea. This also depends a great deal on what sort of upbringing the mother had. If she was raised by conservative, traditional British parents, then you can be fairly sure, mom is the same. With this in mind, buying the “right” gift is important. For the modern mother who grew up in the 1970s listening to Bowie, Queen and other classic bands, then something more upbeat is recommended. In short, if the mother is a traditional type of mother, then go with the chinaware. If she is a modern thinker, dresser and fun person, get her something personal and special – jewelry is perfect.

For the most part mother of the bride gifts in the UK are more personal than they were 40 years ago. Future son in laws don’t feel the pressure their counterparts of 40 years ago had. In those days, visiting the in-laws men wore suits and didn’t arrive at the house while “Coronation Street” was on TV; to do so was akin to telling your mother-in-law to be, that the wedding was cancelled. Presents were, as mentioned, useful to the entire family and frivolous shopping was frowned upon. These days, thanks to services like mother of the bride outfits guide purchasing a gift is modern and simple.

Changing your name after marriage is a very personal decision. While for some, there is no question they will take on their spouse’s surname, for others the decision is not quite so clear-cut. But whether or not you have already given the matter some thought, you will need to discuss the options relevant to you both well before the wedding.

For Alison Munro, it was a sense of lost identity that prompted her to keep her maiden name. on her marriage to Andrew, she changed her name to Molloy – her husband’s surname – but later, changed it back again.

‘I was 23 when I got married and I guess I just did the traditional thing by taking on Andy’s name,’ says Alison. ‘But what I found was that I really felt like I’d lost my identity. I come from a small family, but married into a very big family and people were asking me if I was related to so-and-so Molloy. Every time I was asked, I became even more annoyed.’

Two years into her marriage, Alison changed her name back to Munro. ‘At first, Andy was a little unsure why I wanted to do it, but once I explained it he was really, really supportive. I think he thought that it was quite an important issue for us, for our identity as a couple.’

Besides regarding it as an integral part of her identity, there are other reasons why a woman might decide to keep her maiden name. She may, for example, not agree with the idea of taking her husband’s name, believing that it is an outdated practice with little relevance to either partner. Alternatively, she may not want to change her name if it is uncommon, especially if she is the last person in her family to carry on the name. Or, it may be that her maiden name reflects her culture or ethnic heritage, in which case she wouldn’t want that obscured by the adoption of her husband’s name.

On the other hand, there are many arguments in support of a name change. For one, it is traditional for women to take their husband’s name after marriage.

Some women believe changing their name is an essential part of getting married and that it symbolizes the state of unity being entered into by both partners. A couple may like the fact that a shared surname makes them easily identifiable as husband and wife. They may also feel it is important to have the same name as their future children.

The question of children

It’s not uncommon for many women who choose to keep their maiden name to rethink the decision with the arrival of children. That’s exactly the position in which Fiona Morris found herself. At first, Fiona was reluctant to change her name and kept her maiden name for several years after marriage. But when her daughter, Maria, was born she decided to take on her husband’s name.

‘It’s romantic for us all to have the same family name,’ says Fiona. ‘It makes us seem like a unit. When we introduce ourselves- “I’m Fiona Morris and this is Guy Morris and Maria Morris” – everyone knows who belongs to who. But we’ve got a friend who has kept her name and when she enrolled her little boy in daycare, they said, “Are you the nanny?” It did bring home to me that people wouldn’t automatically associate me with Maria if I had kept my maiden name.’

Aside from the question of children, there are other reasons why a woman may want to change her name.

She may simply prefer her husband’s name and relish the opportunity to discard a name she never really like. Or she may feel that taking on a new name marks a new phase in her life. Some women feel they have finally entered adulthood when they marry and a name change seems appropriate as an outward expression of this inward shift.

But keeping her maiden name or changing to her husband’s aren’t the only two name-change options available to a woman. There are plenty of other possibilities that may be better suited to you.

Double-barrelled names

An option for those reluctant to change their name is a combination of both surnames, a solution that suited Megan Nicol Reed and her partner George. For her entire life, she was adamant she would keep her own name. But at some point between her engagement and wedding day, Megan discovered that George had an opinion on the matter, too.

‘I was really quite shocked to discover he actually did have a fairly strong opinion about it and that he wanted me to change my name to his. Having been brought up in a feminist household, I swore I was never going to change my name and I really couldn’t understand why a woman would.’

However, after a couple of months of pointed discussions, Megan decided to compromise and added George’s name to hers. ‘I probably was all right about doing that because I don’t have a middle name, so it added some weight to what I felt was a bit of a naked name.’

Nevertheless the inclusion of an extra name did have its drawbacks. ‘I don’t know if they do, but I sometimes feel that people think I’m being a bit pretentious. And people still seem to get a surprise when you’ve got two surnames. It’s sort of like, “What? There’s another name?”.’

While Megan doesn’t regret her decision, she feels it was an important step for her and George to take.

‘I really felt that it was the biggest hurdle for us in our marriage plans and the biggest decision I made, in some ways.

It may be relatively straightforward for you to adopt double-barrelled names, but it is worthwhile considering the future implications for children and grandchildren. Your adult child could face an even harder and far more complicated name-change dilemma if the time comes for them to marry.

Other options

So what does a woman do if she wants to take on her husband’s name, but has established a name for herself in her field of work and feels that a name change may be detrimental to her career? She may follow the lead of an increasing number of professional women who have decided to keep their maiden name at work, yet use their husband’s surname o a social and family level.

When it comes to name changing, there’s no reason to be bound by convention. Some women may decide to take on their husband’s name but keep their maiden name as a middle name. And, it’s not unheard of for a man to take his wife’s surname. Another option is for the couple to change their names completely.

‘I have one set of friends who completely made up a name and ditched both their surnames,’ says Megan.

‘Neither of them had particularly fantastic relationships with their fathers and they just saw it as a chance to forge something new with no ties, almost like merging two companies into one – a re-branding.’

Faced with opposition

When a partner opposes your choice of name, the best thing to do is to sit down and discuss the matter openly together. Explain why your decision is important to you, and listen to your partner’s views, too. After all, if you have strong feelings on the matter, chances are they will as well.

Once you’ve talked it through, you may find your partner has had a change of heart. If not, a compromise may be your best solution.

Family and friends may also express their views on the subject. While it is good to be sensitive of other people’s feelings, at the end of the day, it’s really up to the couple to decide which is the best option for them. It’s more likely that your choice will be accepted if you come to a decision early on and then present a united front to in-laws and other parties.

How to go about it

You will need to know whether you are keeping your name, taking your spouse’s name, or using a combination of both before your wedding day, as this information will be required when you apply for your marriage licence.

If you do change your name, you don’t necessarily have to do anything other than ensure it is on your marriage licence. But, if you wish to officially register your name, you would do so by statutory declaration.

Forms are available from the offices of Births, Deaths and Marriages. Visit www.bdm.govt.nz for more information.

To change your name on your passport, driver’s licence and other documents, you will need your marriage certificate. It’s perfectly acceptable to have some documents in your maiden name and some in your married name. However, to make things less confusing, it’s a good idea to have them all in the one name.

Remember, if your passport remains in your maiden name, your air tickets and travel documents must be booked in that name, too.

Aries

When an Aries girl decides to tie the knot, you can bet on it being an exuberant and colourful affair. No same-old wedding here – you’ll make a statement by donning a sexy gown in your trademark shade. You’ll want your big day to be meaningful and romantic, but, above all, a decadent blast that’ll go down as the party of the century! Patience isn’t something you’re big on, which can make you a little slapdash with the finer details. You’re also impulsive and partial to a good splurge, so you’ll greatly benefit from using a sensible friend as a sounding board.

Taurus

Traditional, sentimental and low-key springs to mind when a Taurus says “I do”. Although your style is simple and elegant, you’ll probably stick to a modest budget – cash-conscious bulls simply can’t justify over-spending on a wedding instead of using it for a deposit or dream, round-the –world honeymoon. However, as the connoisseur of the zodiac, you’ll spare no expense on an ambrosial feast and selection of fine wines, followed by your favourite mouth-watering chocolate cake. Thorough yet slow is your style, so it’s a good idea to enlist the help of a trusted friend who’ll help you pick up the pace.

Gemini

A playful Gemini’s big day will be meaningful yet fun-filled, from the humorous first dance to the post-dinner karaoke. Ensuring guests are constantly entertained and free to mingle is paramount, which is why a sit-down affair is most likely off the agenda. You might instead opt for a buffet, whereby guests can avoid being cornered by tales of Aunt June’s hip replacement. Depending on your finances, you might try to stretch your themed affair to a weekend, a la Liz Hurley’s three-day Bollywood blow out. Just make sure you don’t get too carried away with activities and lose sight of what the celebration is really about.

Cancer

Release the doves! As the sign associated with romance, no Cancer woman’s big day will be complete without a 10-strong bridal party, horse-drawn carriage and princess tiara. The theme will be fairytale, not frothy, with tear-jerking vows to touch even the steeliest cynic. It’ll be a family affair, albeit very extended, and the sort of celebration you’ll want to share with everyone you know. So putting together a guest list of under 200 that won’t blow the budget will be challenging. Try to be realistic and be prepared to make some concessions.

Leo

Dramatic, creative and a self-confessed big spender, kittens will spare no expense on what will be nothing short of an extravagant gala. Face it, you’re a bit of a show-off, and if the ice sculptures and gilded place setting don’t impress, the French champers fountain should do the trick. However, you’ll make sure that the opulence won’t detract from the focal point – you! – looking a gazillion bucks in a crystal-beaded gown form a top-notch designer. Skimping simply isn’t in your vocab, but at least entertain the idea of putting aside enough cash for the honeymoon!

Virgo

Blessed with impeccable taste, Virgo’s big day is the pinnacle of refinement with your frock, food, bouquet and ring smacking of understated elegance. It will be a civilised affair conducted with the precision of a Swiss watch, from the string quartet’s scheduled playlist to heart-warming speeches, and all led by an amusing yet discreet MC. Although you’re likely to enlist the help of professionals, it will be difficult to resist the urge to micro manage. Try not to get you French knickers in a knot and keep bridezilla tendencies under wraps by leaning on a trusted friend who’ll keep you calm and centred.

Libra

Blessed with grace and social skills, nobody throws a party like a Libran! Chic yet cutting edge is the best way to describe your style – think a sexy frock rather than a traditional gown, and platters of French finger food with a Japanese twist served aboard a yacht of in an elegant dining room. Or you may opt for an after-hours cocktail party, allowing you and your guests to socialise. Though you’re indecisive at the best of times and are likely to agonise over choices, don’t work yourself into a lather. Trust your initial instincts.

Scorpio

Less is more in your book – you’d rather save on flowers and photography in order to splash out on the venue and rings. Scorpios are very private so, money aside, you’ll want to keep it intimate so as not to detract from the meaning of the day. It’s sure to be a romantic and low-key affair, with perhaps a select group whisked away to a rural or beachside property for the occasion. Although the end result will be joyful, planning your own wedding can be very stressful. Keep your intensity in check and, above all, maintain your sense of humour!

Sagittarius

It’s every adventurous Saggie’s dream to elope in high style. Not only well you satisfy your wanderlust, but you’ll also skip wedding headaches such as deflecting pushy “suggestions” from hard-to-please parents and narrowing down your choice of bridesmaids. If you can’t leave it all behind, make sure your special day has an exotic element, whether it’s a silk sari-inspired dress, authentic Moroccan cuisine, or kicking up your heels to a salsa band. Although you’ll claim to want an unorthodox affair, don’t deny your inner bride the chance to wear a veil or a white frou-frou number if you so desire.

Capricorn

Capricorn women are stylish and sophisticated yet have a great respect for tradition, so your day is likely to reflect both these elements. Heirloom earrings, time-honoured vows and a customary bridal waltz might be offset with classy cocktail attire, a sultry blues band and dirty martinis at sunset. You love the finer things in life, so everything, from the exotic orchid centrepieces to your delicate La Perla garter, is sure to be top notch. Relinquish control – a big ask, we know – by hiring a wedding planner. That way, you can keep a hands-on approach but let someone else sweat the small stuff.

Aquarius

As the individualist of the zodiac, saying “I do’ will be the only conventional thing on your big day. The sky’s the limit, from a mid-air, hot-air balloon ceremony to a quickie Vegas-style wedding complete with Elvis impersonator and complimentary casino chips. Anything goes as long as it’s a wild shindig where all traces of propriety go out the window! With such out-there ideas, be warned that you may have trouble gaining support from family and friends. Just surround yourself with positive people and remember that this is your day!

Pisces

As one of the most artistic and spiritual signs, a mermaid’s nuptials will have an ethereal, poetic quality, from your goddess-inspired dress to the exotic butterflies released when you’re pronounced husband and wife. Pisces women are the ultimate illusionists and will succeed in creating a luxurious atmosphere on a relatively modest budget. A combination of casual, comfortable and indulgent elements will ensure your guests have fun. Don’t spread yourself too thin and soak up every moment. Also, accept friends’ offers of help.

It’s my wedding day, and I still can’t find the right pair for my bridesmaid’s shoes. I am so confused and I just can’t seem to fight the agitation. Thus, left with no choice, I was forced to try and buy some bridesmaid flip flops for them to wear on the important day of my life.

I know it’s not the typical and widely used footwear during weddings but there was nothing that I can do. I was running out of time and I don’t know what else to do. That morning, the actual wedding, I rushed to the nearest flip flops store and ordered ten pairs of bridesmaid flip flops so that I will have something for my bridesmaids to wear on my wedding.

Also, taking in the initiative of buying my girls flip flops for my wedding, I too bought a pair for me. It is not initially in the plan that my bridesmaids would wear slippers on my wedding day, so I will also wear flip flops myself so that my guests will not be shocked by the sudden change of plans. In that way, I can enjoy the rest of the day without worrying about getting sore heels during our honey moon. I don’t want blisters to ruin everything.

Moreover, nowadays I have noticed that wearing bridesmaid flip flops is one of the fastest growing trends in the county today. I stumbled onto a website one time and I have to admit, most of the weddings that were featured in the website were all about brides and grooms, and bridesmaids as well, were all wearing slippers during the wedding day.

Thus, when I ran out of ideas as to what to let my bridesmaids wear, I decided to buy them bridesmaid flip flops—fast.

What I like about the bridesmaid flip flops is that it can also come in different shapes and designs. I was thinking back then that when you say flip flops or slippers, it would directly imply to flat slippers. But I was wrong. Most of the bridesmaid flip flops that I saw in the store were heeled ones. The only difference is that, they are more comfortable to wear and your feet can actually breathe since they are not in a closure design.

Thus, I really made a decision that I would buy m bridesmaids these bridesmaid flip flops for them to wear on my wedding. Not only that they will feel more comfortable and fashionable at the same time, they will also look so natural—while walking down the isle with me. There were no regrets every one of my bridesmaids and even I was enjoying the whole flip flop thing as we walk down the aisle.

What’s  appropriate?

Nowadays appropriateness isn’t nearly as much of an issue as it was three or four decades ago. While there are guidelines for wedding etiquette, it’s rally up to you to decide on the form and content of you wedding. Being able to do what you like is something most second-timers find very liberating.

Just be sure that you respect the feelings of others, including ex-spouses. Have the courtesy to tell them you’re remarrying (especially if you have children together). If you’re having a church wedding, make sure there are no restrictions on divorcees remarrying. Some faiths have rules about this.

How do we include our kids?

Children are a fundamental concern when you’re marrying again. Once you’re engaged, it’s important that your kids be the first to hear the news. You’ll probably have a fair idea of how they’ll react, but even so, it might be best if each of you delivers the news separately to your respective children to allow them the opportunity to react spontaneously and discuss any fears of concerns they have. While it’s likely they’ll be thrilled for you, don’t underestimate the impact such an announcement might have on some kids. Unbeknown to you, they may have had secret hopes of you reuniting with their other parent, and news of a marriage to someone else could come as a crushing disappointment.

Second weddings are often not just about two people joining in marriage, but also about the creation of a new family. You might want to reflect this in your ceremony by including your children in different ways. They could escort you down the aisle, be included in the exchange of vows or I a special blessing, or be part of a unity candle-lighting ceremony. Family vows, where stepparents pledge their love and support to each other’s children are an emotional and public way of cementing a strong family bond.

Whatever you choose to do, be sure to talk to your kids beforehand and make sure they’re comfortable with the arrangements. As hard as it may be, it’s important to respect their wishes if they just don’t want to be involved.

Should I invite my ex in-laws?

This entirely depends on the nature of your relationship. You may still be on excellent terms with certain members of your ex’s family. Provided it doesn’t make your new partner uncomfortable, invite whomever you wish. Again, it comes down to respect. If there’s any doubt, leave the ex-family in the past.

Those who were widowed may still have a very close relationship with their former parents-in-law. By all means invite them to your wedding, but don’t be offended if they decide not to come.

This could be difficult time for them emotionally.