Selecting someone to be your bestman may seem like a straightforward decision – obviously, you’ll pick your brother or your best mate who you’ve been friends with since primary school. But your decision should be based upon more than just friendship or family duty.

There are other things to consider that you may not have thought of. While it seems obvious to choose your brother or long-time friend, make sure they have the right qualities to be a bestman.

It’s your wedding and your bestman’s duties can vary as you see fit, but there are certain tasks a bestman traditionally takes care of

His most high-profile job is to keep the wedding rings safe and present to the groom at the appropriate time during the wedding ceremony. But his duties start well before the wedding. He will plan and organise your stag party and ensure you make it home in one piece (so he needs to be someone you can trust).

He will keep the marriage licence secure for the day of the wedding, and help you select gifts for your bride on behalf of your groomsmen. If you’re having a rehearsal dinner, he’s likely to make a speech.

Aside from his role as ‘keeper of the ring’, on the day of the wedding his most important responsibility is making sure you are relaxed, prepared and dressed time.

After the ceremony, his is in charge of the wedding cars, and ensuring all guests, including you and your new bride, make it to the reception. He’ll deliver payments on your behalf to the celebrants, wedding photographer, chauffeurs, band and caterer. One of the highlights of the reception is usually the bestman’s speech, so he has a lot to live up to in terms of guests’ expectations, which puts a fair amount of pressure on him.

When you weigh all this up, suddenly your drinking buddy from uni may not be the best choice for this important role. Having your bestman slurring his way through the speeches and forgetting to pay the wedding caterer is not a good look. And might want to think twice about asking the practical joker of the bunch. A wedding is just too tempting, and inappropriate comments will go down like a lead balloon.

There are certain characteristics that make a great bestman. Look for someone who is: organised; low stress and a calming influence; trustworthy, reliable and responsible; friendly and outgoing – preferably someone who many of your family and friends already know well; living in the same country (and ideally, the same city) as you; not too busy with family and work commitments.

Most importantly, make sure your fiancée approves of your choice. It will make things a lot easier all round.

It’s your wedding so don’t feel obligated to ask any particular person. If your mates are competing for the job, then it may be safer to choose a family member. If you’re not on good terms with your brother, choose a mate. It’s always a good idea to announce your choices for bestman and groomsmen all at the same time to stop anyone from feeling left out.

There’s no reason why your father or son can’t be our bestman. And, although it may be considered somewhat unconventional, having a bestwoman is another option.

If you have two really good friends who expect to be bestman at your wedding, why not have both of them?

They could share the role – organising the stage party together, dividing the duties during the ceremony: one handing you the rings, the other witnessing the marriage licence. And at the reception, they could give joint speeches.

The Best Bridemaids

Being asked to be a bridesmaid is a privilege and an honour, and is not something you get to do every day!

If you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid it means you are a truly trusted and valuable friend. It can be a chance to create great memories and enhance friendships, but it can also be very busy, expensive, and stressful so before you accept the responsibility make sure you can afford the time, energy, and extra money the job may take.

Weddings are hard work to organise – particularly for the bride – and a bridesmaid’s job is to help relieve the stress so it would be unfair to accept if you can’t give 100% support and commitment.

One of the usual questions asked regarding bridesmaids is – who pays?

In this day and age anything goes. There are many couples who ask that the bridesmaid pays for her own dress, shoes, hair and make-up. Others will pay for the hair & make up but expect the bridesmaid to pay for her own dress.

My personal opinion is the bridesmaid shouldn’t have to pay for anything. You have asked her to be a part of your wedding so it is your responsibility to take care of the things she needs to perform that duty. I would however make an exception for her shoes – a bridesmaid could either wear some of her existing shoes or buy a pair of shoes which she would wear again.

Consult your bridesmaids about the style of dress they would like to wear -  if they don’t feel comfortable, they won’t look or feel good on the day. Decide who will pay the dresses, shoes and accessories, and if they can be worn again for other occasions. If you are having flowergirls or pageboys, talk to their parents about what style of attire would be appropriate for them. You can use small details from the bridal gown on the outfits of the bridesmaids and children to tie the look together.

Groovy Groomsmen

A groomsman is first someone who is important to the groom, and whom the groom wants to be a visible part of his wedding. He may be a good friend, brother, cousin or father. It’s quite common these days for your groomsman to be a she; more men are asking female friends to be part of their attendants.

It can be quite expensive being a groomsman, you could be up for things including cost of apparel, travel, and hotel room for the ceremony, hosting a stag party, as well as the gifts. A groomsman should have these expenses in mind when he accepts the honour and be up front with the groom about what he is and isn’t able to afford. Once he has agreed to be a groomsman, however, he shouldn’t complain about the cost. (As long as the groom was upfront with you!)

Pageboys & Flowergirls

Little ones can add something very special to your wedding. Even though the wedding day revolves around the bride and groom, it’s also a day of excitement for the children involved.

Nothing is more adorable than a flower girl adorned in frills and flowers or a pageboy dressed in a dashing suit.

When considering involving children in your wedding you need to be sure of their personalities and also of their reaction to all the fuss that inevitably takes place on a wedding day. Do they relish being the centre of attention or are they likely to be shy and retiring? When choosing a flower girl, pageboy or ring bearer there are a few things to bear in mind.

Firstly, you must have a familiar relationship with the child. It can be a daunting experience to have to walk down an aisle with lots of stranger watching you and camera flashing. With this in mind, it’s a good idea to have a familiar face (such as a parent or grandma) in view for the little one to see as they perform their all-important role of walking down the aisle. Another way to ensure your little one doesn’t suffer stage fright is by letting them walk behind the bridesmaid or holding hands with one of the bridesmaids.

Their attention span, behaviour, attitude and level of confidence all need to be considered.

Typically the flower girls, pageboys and ring bearers are between three and seven years of age. If your feel that they can walk down the aisle and behave during the ceremony then it should be fine to include them on the day.

Remember….a wedding can be quite a long event and children can become tired and irritable, so try to sneak in a nap a few hours before they dress for the day.

Try to have photographs taken early in the wedding day. This way you ensure that the children are not tired and are eager to participate. And don’t worry if photographs don’t interest them – an experienced photographer will capture them at their best and will surprise and delight you with the results.

When choosing outfits for children, keep in mind how comfortable the garments are. Avoid outfits with scratchy labels, seams or decorative touches that they can pull at. Also consider the time of year and make sure the children will be warm or cool enough. The outfits need to be well fitted and not too tight or restricting. Buttons and bows at the back will also help avoid any unexpected stripteases throughout the day!

As obvious as it may sound, it’s important to do a toilet check just before leaving for the ceremony. ‘Accidents’ can happen and are more likely if the little ones are a bit nervous and excited.

Give the older children the responsibility of carrying the posies or flower baskets and the ring cushion, and for the younger ones you can have a flower circlet made for their hair or a pomander of flowers made for their wrists. And the boys…well, they get to escort the princess down the aisle!

And finally, we all love to be praised no matter what our age. Make sure that you explain the children’s role to them but continue to affirm with praise and encouragement before, during and even after the event.

This way you should all have fun on your wedding day.

There are so many great ideas out there on the internet and cheap, readily available DIY kits, for even the most imagination challenged person to be able to create some stunning DIY wedding invites from their living room.

There are a few options when it comes to DIY wedding invitations. You can opt to create the entire design from scratch yourself using a program like Microsoft Publisher or Adobe inDesign. However this software isn’t cheap and if you’re only going to be using it once then the expense isn’t really justifiable.

In my opinion the best DIY wedding invitation ideas are those that not only save you money but don’t have you pulling your hair out wrangling with a piece of computer software which you don’t have time to learn to use, or figuring out how to align the font in just the right place so everything will be perfectly centred!

This is where DIY wedding invitation kits come in. You can buy a pre-prepared template and design and with a few simple steps you can customise them with all your wedding details then print them out from your home computer or take them to a local print shop and have them printed out professional for only a few cents!

There are wedding invitation kits ranging from very basic designs to kits including ribbons and other elegant accessories to make your invites seem as though they cost hundreds from a professional designer!

You can buy different size kits depending on how many guests you will be inviting. A usual package will contain 25 invitations with envelopes, and depending on what kind of kit you purchase, RSVP cards with envelopes and of course enough ribbons and accessories for each invite. These DIY kits cost a fraction of the price of professional invitations starting anywhere from $25 per set. Take a look at some examples below…

Here are a few of my favourites

Masterpiece Studios Brown Swirl Folder Invitation & Note Card Kit

This elegant invitation kit includes:

• 25 x Invitations
• 25 x Lined Envelopes
• 25 x Folders
• 25 x Note Cards & Envelopes
• 25 x Bonus Seals

Each invitation is 5.5″ x 7.75″ and the note cards are 4.875″ x 3.375″

They are Inkjet and Laser printer compatible so are perfect to print out from your home computer.

Wilton Pearlized Flourish Invitation Kit

This modern and stylish invitation kit includes:

• 25 x Invitations & Envelopes
• 25 x Reply Cards & Envelopes
• 25 x Belly Bands
• 25 x Ribbons
• 25 x Pre-tied Bows with Pearl Studs
• 25 x Adhesives
• 6 x Test Sheets

The invitations come in a lovely White & Purple colour scheme which will match perfectly with many wedding themes.

Wilton Pressed Floral Lavender Wedding Invitation Kits

This wedding invitation kit includes:

• 50 x Invitations & Envelopes
• 50 x Reply Cards & Envelopes
• 50 x Handmade Paper Wraps
• Pre-tied Bows & Adhesives
• Ribbons
• 3 x Test Sheets

These invitations are a soft yellow colour which is a great neutral tone to go with any colour scheme. The Invitations measure 5.5″ x 8.5″ and the Reply Cards measure 5.5″ x 4.25″

Wilton Vintage Ivy Wedding Invitation Kits

These stylish wedding invite kit includes:

• 25 x Invitations & Envelopes
• 25 x Reply Cards & Envelopes
• 50 x All Purpose Cards
• Ribbons
• Pre-tied Bows & Adhesives
• 3 x Test Sheets

The invitation is displayed on one side of the folder and the accessory cards are tucked into the pocket on the opposite side of these ivory and brown invitations.

Cathy’s Concepts Premium Self Mailer Invitation Kit

This quality invitation kit includes:

• 25 x Invitations & Envelopes
• 25 x Reply Cards & Envelopes
• 25 x Ribbons
• Test Sheets
• Instructions & Template Information Details

These cream and chocolate invitations measure 5″ x 7″ and are made from #80 cardstock.

The good news is that not only is this possible, it can also be a lot more fun than sticking to the so-called tradition of white or ivory (which, incidentally, dates only from Victorian times, before which wedding dresses came in a wide variety of colors).

Wedding dresses today can be exquisite creations, often made with amazing details and expensive materials and worth every penny of the massive price tag for those who are willing and able to pay it. But, for those who don’t have a bottomless bank account, there are other options equally worthwhile and beautiful, and a great deal more economical. Here we explore a few ways to make big savings while still looking fantastic on your big day.

Colored Wedding Dresses

Some brides are ignoring the relatively recent tradition of wearing pure white and adding a splash of color to their choice of dress.

While white and red, or ivory and black wedding dresses can also command a hefty price tag, there are also many options outside of specialist bridal collections that can draw the eye and make a big difference to the pocket. A red wedding dress, chosen from a prom or ballroom collection, or even from a more general retailer, can be incredibly beautiful and very striking. Green, blue and even black wedding dresses are also worth considering and if you are happy to shop around and keep and open mind the choice of colors become almost endless.

Secondhand Wedding Dresses

While is is less common these days for a mother to keep her own wedding dress to pass on to her daughter, as styles are changing all the time, a secondhand wedding dress is a viable option for those who are determined to stick with white and looking for a cheaper option. It need not have the feel of a hand-me-down either – the thought that your dress has history and that another bride has been happy and beautiful while wearing it can be a very cheering one.

How much you ultimately spend on your wedding dress, and where you buy it, is unimportant. Looking and feeling the best you can while you take that long walk down the aisle is. If you feel happy and confident in the choice you’ve made you can guarantee your guests and loved will share in your happiness.

One of the more popular fabrics used in beach style wedding dresses is cotton.  Using cotton fabric means as a bride on the beach your skin can breathe a lot easier under the midday sun and heat.  Cotton beach style wedding dresses will mean you can relax and it’s also a very easy dress to chance out of – although in truth you will probably be able to party long into the balmy night wearing a cotton design.

Not only that, but think how easy it’s going to be transporting a cotton beach wedding dress abroad in your suitcase – a lot easier than an extravagant and heavy wedding dress I am sure you will agree!

In terms of the cut of a beach style wedding dress you will find that the options are a lot more casual than your standard home wedding with pomp and ceremony definitely taking a back seat to practicality and fun.  Nothing says this more than a themed beach wedding, for example somewhere in the Caribbean where bright floral and tropical colors are infinitely more preferable to the traditional white wedding dress so popular in Western culture.

Some of the better and more affordable beach style wedding dress designers on the bridal market are names such as Cymbeline USA and Ali Express.  You have probably already heard of Cymbeline who are a Paris bridal house with outlets globally.

Their 2011 collection contains two wedding dresses that are ideal for a beach wedding so if you do decide to look into them further then make sure you don’t miss out on the Hester, Essentia, and Elenore pieces this year.  All beautiful wedding gowns that are not in the traditional mould, made from lighter fabrics, and can be worn with no shoes making them ideal for a wedding on the beach.

If like many brides you are getting help from your bridesmaids in choosing a wedding dress, then you should also look at the Ali Express website if there are any other guests who need some inspiration.  They have a range of wedding guest dresses that are  also lightweight, casual, and affordable making them perfect for your dream beach wedding on the sand.

French Polynesia alone has 118 islands scattered across four million kilometres of the Pacific, but the islands of Moorea and Bora Bora are two of the world’s most celebrated honeymoon destinations.

Both feature plenty of sandy beaches, five star seaside resorts, water activities and French cafes. The islands also have the same jaw dropping natural beauty discovered by European sailors more than 200 years ago: mist shrouded mountains, lush valleys, emerald hills and turquoise waters rimmed with coral reefs.

Moorea, 17km from the busy mainland of Tahiti, is the easiest to reach and explore. Laid back and peaceful, Moorea offers a cluster of resorts, hotels and restaurants in the north; good snorkelling, scuba diving and hiking; and a scenic coastal drive with tranquil bays, craggy mountains and picturesque churches.

Bora Bora has fewer distractions, more exclusive romantic hideaways and the same majestic landscapes – all surrounded by a multi hued lagoon encircled by a coral reef. If you do nothing else in Bora Bora, spend some time in the sea: sailing, diving, swimming with sharks and stingrays, or just staring out to the horizon.

New Caledonia

For couples pining for something French, New Caledonia also puts a distinctive European accent on the Pacific. Full of boutiques, stylish hotels, fine restaurants, nightclubs and a charming coastline, the capital city of Noumea easily evokes images of seaside towns in France.

To add some Pacific flavour, sample the traditional Kanak culture and heed the local’s advice to explore la brousse (literally, ‘the bush’), which means everything outside the city. (It’s a good strategy to follow wherever you go in the Pacific – the further you travel from the mainland centres, the more idyllic your experience is likely to be.)

photo credit: BatigOal phOtographe

New Caledonia’s most popular example of la brousse is the Isle of Pines, named by Captain Cook for the soaring araucaria pines that line the island’s white sand beaches and emerald lagoon. Elsewhere, outdoor enthusiasts can go hiking in rainforests, horseback riding in the mountains, snorkelling and scuba diving around the reefs.

Tonga

Snorkelers and scuba divers will see something different off the Vava’u islands in Tonga. Each year, from June to November, humpback whales migrate to these waters to breed. Most whale watchers go by boat to see these 40 tonne mammals frolic and sing in the sea, but Tonga also offers the rare opportunity to swim with them underwater.

Tonga has many of the typical Pacific attractions, such as pristine beaches, coral reefs and tropical forests. But with far fewer tourists and resorts than other Pacific islands, Tonga will suit honeymooners who want somewhere slow and different – like good sailing waters, archaeological sites, a vibrant Polynesian culture and the home to one of the world’s last sovereign kings.

Cook Islands

Aitutaki is love at first sight. From the air, the Cook Islands atoll appears as a green speck spectacularly surrounded by a vast, azure coral lagoon that will keep most visitors busy for days. You can don a snorkeler’s mask to gaze through the clear waters at giant clams, orange coral and sea turtles. You can paddle a kayak around the protective reef, and you can take a lagoon cruise to a motu (uninhabited islet) for a castaway’s swim and picnic.

The Tahiti like beauty of Rarotonga is best viewed from the mainland’s coastal road, which winds along the coral lagoon and white sand beaches, and past sacred marae, villages, and clusters of waterfront resorts, guesthouses and restaurants. Hikers can follow the Cross Island Track across thick mountain forests and take in the island’s dazzling scenic wonders from above.

Rarotonga boasts a variety of accommodation choices and styles. From the basic and function through to the luxurious and sophisticated, there is something to suit almost every budget. At night, make a date for a culture show or an island night, where you dine of local specialties, listen to traditional music and watch some of the best dancing in the Pacific.

photo credit: eguidetravel

Vanuatu

Old Pacific ambience is the biggest charm of Vanuatu, particularly if you don’t plan to venture far from the main island of Efate. The sleepy capital city of Port Vila offers the best choice of resorts, island tours, diving trips and French seaside restaurants, where you can dine of escargot, baguettes and bouillabaisse.

Vanuatu’s unique attractions are father flung. On Tanna Island, 200km from Efate, you can walk along the rim of an active volcano and watch fountains of glowing as and stones shoot high into the air. On Espiritu Santo, scuba divers and descend into clear waters to view the sunken wreck on an American warship. On Pentecost Island, in April and May, you can witness the ancient land diving ritual (the inspiration for bungy jumping), in which boys jump of towers with only springy vines to break their fall.

Niue

If you don’t need sandy beaches and stylish accommodation for your honeymoon, consider one of the smallest and most relaxed places in the Pacific. Niue, a raised atoll with a rocky coastline of steep limestone cliffs, is a place to explore caves with stalactites and stalagmites, mix with the locals and play in the sea.

Divers and snorkelers come to Niue’s coral reef and clear, deep waters to marvel at colourful reef fish, turtles, sea snakes, dolphins and humpback whales. Deep sea fishing is also popular in Niue, particularly for marlin, tuna and wahoo. With fewer than 100 rooms at Niue’s resorts, hotels and guesthouses, visitors can mix comfortably with Niueans over fresh tuna, coconut crab, taro, breadfruit and cassava.

Norfolk Island

Seclusion is easy on Norfolk Island. A small volcanic dot in the vast Pacific, this former Australian penal colony is 1000km from Auckland and farther still from Sydney.

No one does hard time on the island anymore. With a mild subtropical climate, Norfolk Island is a year round haven for couples who like to fish, golf, enjoy gourmet food and sample the island’s natural beauty: sandy coastline, rocky cliffs, Norfolk pines and large tree ferns.

photo credit: derekkeats

Fiji

Fiji has something for nearly everyone. With more than 300 islands full of postcard images of the Pacific and hundreds of resorts catering to a wide range of needs, it’s easy to understand why Fiji is a favourite honeymoon destination for New Zealanders.

Whether you stay at a five star resort on the mainland or a small resort on its own island, Fiji’s attractions are all around: palm fringed white sand beaches, azure lagoons and reefs, pink and orange sunsets, and the Fijians’ trademark ‘Bula’ friendliness.

Fiji has a wilder side, too. The island of Taveuni has long been an attraction for scuba divers, but its lush green interior is home to the largest population of indigenous plants and animals in the South Pacific. Fiji’s ‘Garden Island’ features spectacular coastal hiking treks, waterfalls, rugged mountains, rainforests, rare birds and orchids.

You can find many of the same mainland activities, such as tennis, golf and horseback riding, but more than likely you’ll spend your time at a swimming hole, drinking kava or watching islanders play rugby.

Travellers to Fiji, especially in and around Suva, should visit www.saftravel.govt.nz for the latest information in Fiji’s political situation.

photo credit: Cherrie 美桜 Rhodes

Samoa

Samoa makes it easy to get back to the basics. A friendly and accessible place, Samoa surprises most visitors with its abundant natural beauty: thick stands of nikau palms and towering banyan trees, bush clad gorges and surging waterfalls, copra plantations, and a coastline fringed with fish filled reefs and sandy beaches.

On the main island of Upolu, two buildings tell the story of Samoa’s past – the legendary Aggie Grey’s hotel, a long-time meeting place of the rich and famous; and Vailima, the estate where Scottish writer Robert Louis Stevenson spent his last years.

Most honeymooners will stay at well appointed resorts, but many of the best beaches on Upolu and Savai’i islands feature something rare in the Pacific’s popular destinations – inexpensive beachside accommodation. These very basic traditional thatched roof fales come with a think mattress and linens.

If nothing else, they are a reminder of the simple pleasures of the Pacific – a place to anchor your days at a palm shaded beach, feasting on fresh fruit and fish, swimming towards the sunset and falling asleep listening to nothing more than the lap of the sea and the swish of coconut palms.

Who’s Organising?

Traditionally, hen and stag events are organised by the chief bridesmaid and the best man respectively. Let the organiser know the maximum cost each guest should pay and, unless you’re the kind of person who likes surprises, have a chat to them about the type of celebration you’d like. Do you want to let your hair down and have a wild night out on the town or would you prefer an afternoon at an exclusive spa with your closest friends? Ideally, this part of the wedding should suit your personality and what you like to do – although always be prepared for a few surprises!

photo credit: Watt_Dabney

Hot Ideas for the Hen Party

A group activity can be a good way to break the ice and get people in the mood for celebration. One of the most entertaining hen’s parties I’ve been to involved having a group pole dancing lesson with a professional fitness instructor, which provided plenty of laughs. Alternatively, you could organise a mini golf tournament with extra dares and challenges, get creative at a craft or cooking class, go for a surfing lesson with a hunky instructor, or stretch your vocal cords by having a karaoke or Singstar night.

Another good girly option for the hen party is pampering: going for a facial, massage or other beauty treatment. This ‘spa-rty’ option is especially good for a smaller group – take your best friends or bridesmaids, and perhaps your mother and your fiancé’s.

If you want to make a weekend of it, hire a bach for a girl’s weekend or go to another city and paint the town red. For fun closer to home, hire a suite in a flash hotel and have a top end night out complete with bubbly, cocktails or fine wines.

In these recessionary times, there’s also plenty of fun to be had at home. Have a black tie themed cocktail evening, a pamper party (give each other beauty treatments, or have a manicurist come in and give you all a treat), or if you’re feeling naughty, why not have a lingerie or sex toy hens party?

Hot Ideas for the Stag Do

Say the words ‘stag do’ and drinking immediately springs to mind. While drinking may well be involved, a fun celebration with the boys doesn’t necessarily have to be a pub crawl. Get physical with paintball, golf, mountain biking, go karting, bowling, canyoning or skeet shooting, and then move on to dinner and drinks. For an event at home, you can’t go past a boy’s barbeque, or perhaps a pizza night.

A boy’s weekend away can be a great chance for the guys to bond and burn off some extra energy. Again, perhaps hire a bach or go to another town to check out the bars and clubs and outdoor adventure opportunities, play a few rounds of golf or go fishing.

photo credit: Big C Harvey

Things to Remember

• We’ve all heard horror stories of bachelor parties gone horribly wrong. Keep it fun and safe so no one ends up in hospital.
• No one wants to look like they’ve had one too many drinks and not enough sleep on their wedding day. Pick a date at least a week prior but up to a month before the wedding, to give everyone the chance to recover and be ready for the big day.
• If you can, plan to have your hen and stag events on the same date, so one partner isn’t sitting at home worrying about what the other one is doing! Even if they are on the same night, don’t get stressed about what your other half is up to. Remember, you trust them – otherwise you wouldn’t be getting married, right? Just enjoy your own celebration.
• The organiser of the event needs to be aware of what the guests can afford. They are also coming to your wedding and probably buying you a wedding gift, so don’t put them under too much financial pressure.
• Many hen and stag parties are progressive events with several different activities, often getting wilder and saucier as the evening progresses! You may like to structure the event so people can attend some elements and not others – e.g. dinner at home, then drinks and dancing in town. This will make it easier for older relatives to attend, and for those with families to join the celebrations when it suits them.
• The organiser needs to communicate clearly on the invites what the length of the celebration is, the dress code, whether the party goers need to bring anything, whether drinks are provided or it’s BYO etc.
• If the event is going to involve alcohol, be responsible and make sure transport is available. Organise taxi vans; dial a driver, or places to stay so no one has to worry about the car keys.
• Don’t forget the ‘Snag-do’ option, where the guys and girls celebrate together or perhaps meet up for a meal and joint party after the day’s adventures.
• Above all, have fun! Of course you’ll still go out with your mates once you’re married, but this is a good opportunity to celebrate your single life with those who have lived it with you.

The Heat is On

In summer you may need to contend with scorching temperatures, humidity or strong sunlight on your wedding day. While many brides want to wear a full length wedding gown for this special celebration, steer clear of voluminous styles or heavy fabrics during the warmer months. The guys may even like to wear open necked shirts, depending on the formality of the occasion.

Think about appropriate accessories for the warm weather, too. Parasols, fans or sunglasses can provide a welcome relief from the sun, plus they make great props for the photos. Flowers can wilt in hot weather, so you may want your florist to wire the bouquets to keep them looking great all day, or you could stand them in water until you’re ready to leave for the wedding ceremony.

Keep the wedding menu light and fresh, and provide plenty of chilled water and non alcoholic drinks to keep everyone refreshed and hydrated. Wedding cakes can melt in high temperatures, so if you’re getting married in the height of summer, fondant icing is best as it’s more resistant to heat than butter cream.

If you’re saying ‘I do’ outdoors, hold the ceremony in a shady spot, and when you set up the chairs, make sure your guest won’t be blinded by the sun. Advice guests on your invitations that it’s an alfresco ceremony and arrange for the ushers to offer them sunscreen on arrival. Limit the length of the wedding ceremony to 40 minutes maximum so your guests aren’t exposed to the elements for too long.

Chilled Out

A cold snap can strike at any time, but it’s especially important have a wedding plan for nippy temperatures from April to October. Keep the wedding party cosy with three-piece suits for the guys, and wraps, faux fur stoles, bolero jackets or long sleeved gowns for the girls. Rather than strappy wedding shoes, choose closed toe styles to keep your feet warm.

Check that the wedding venue is well heated, too. If your guests will be mingling outside after the ceremony, consider setting up some patio heaters. Then, as they arrive at the wedding reception, welcome them in from the cold with hot apple cider or mulled wine.

Breeze Along

If you wake up to blustery conditions on your big day, it’s probably best to opt for an up style hairdo, as the wind may tangle your hair if you wear it loose. Carry a small bottle of hairspray and some bobby pins in your bridal emergency kit to deal with any flyaway locks.

Choose a sheltered spot if you’re having an outdoor wedding, making sure your registry papers and wedding decorations are well anchored. A good sound system is essential, too, so your voices aren’t carried away by the wind.

It’s Raining, It’s Pouring

With 600-1600mm of annual rainfall in New Zealand, wet weather is a common occurrence throughout the year. Your wedding plan should include enough umbrellas to shelter the wedding party if it rains. It’s also ital to have a contingency wedding plan for outdoor ceremonies and photos.

Muddy grass and heels aren’t a good mix, so you may like to invest in a pair of heel caps to stop your shoes from sinking into the ground. Alternatively, wear a pair of funky gumboots if you need to venture onto soggy ground for photo shoots. If your gown has a train, make sure it can be hitched up to prevent it from getting wet or mud splattered.

Snowed Under

During winter, it can snow heavily in mountainous areas and in the South Island. As roads can be treacherous during snowy conditions there may be road closures or slow moving traffic, so try to allow some extra time for travelling to the ceremony and between locations. It’s also a wise idea to ask your venue or an usher to arrange for someone to clear any icy or snow covered pathways that you’ll be using.

Whatever the Weather

On the day, no matter what hand Mother Nature deals you – whether it’s brilliant sunshine or thundery skies – embrace it and enjoy yourselves! As long as you are well prepared and have a foolproof wedding plan you can’t go wrong. As English poet John Ruskin once said: ‘Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.’

Managing that stress is important, or you could end up taking it out on the person you care for the most. Here’s our advice for avoiding tension and arguments and putting the focus back on you:

Super Planning

With so many details to arrange, all while carrying on with your normal daily life, you’ll need a system. Pick something that works for you – it might be a spreadsheet with different columns for tasks, suppliers, quotes and notes; or a concertina file divided into sections, where you can keep menus, swatches quotes and pictures, all safely in one place.

Check out www.brideandgroom.co.nz for an array of helpful planning tools. There’s an organiser with checklists, a to-do list, a planner divided into sections containing basic information, ideas and suggestions with space for notes. Print these off, along with expenses worksheet and contacts list, and add them to your planning file.

photo credit: lululemon athletica

Get Moving

Yes, you’re busy and maybe a little tired, but you’ll feel so much better if you get some oxygen pumping through your system. Exercise is a great stress buster and it has the added bonus of helping you stay in shape. A brisk 30 minute walk three or four times a week is a great start, and it’s a perfect activity to do together. If you’re really keen, you could join a gym and have a programme tailored to your exercise goals.

Mental Health

Your head is probably buzzing with ideas, tasks and decisions, and you may be finding it hard to sleep. Help calm your inner wedding planner with some gentle yoga or meditation. Find a local class or buy a mediation CD and schedule in some regular time to clear your head. It’ll help you concentrate and focus.

Clean up your Act

Remember what your mother always said about looking after yourself? Get some early nights, reduce your coffee and alcohol intake, cut out the junk food and drink more water. Include plenty of B vitamins in your diet from foods such as bananas, tuna and leafy green vegetables or by taking supplements. Establishing some good habits will help you manages stress better and look great on your wedding day and beyond.

Pamper Yourself

Take yourself off for a restorative facial, manicure or massage. You’ll come out feeling like a million bucks. If your budget is tight, don’t discount the benefits of IIY. Treat your partner to a relaxing massage (you might not get one in return) or take 15 minutes out for a home pedicure. You deserve to look and feel good.

Wedding-free Zone

It might be a challenge, especially for some brides, but have at least one day a week when you don’t talk about the wedding or do any wedding planning at all! Grooms will probably circle this day on their calendar. Give it a go – it’ll help put things back into perspective and stop the wedding from taking over your like.

I Want You on My Team

Good communication is paramount in any relationship, and even more so when you’re planning a wedding. Never forget that you’re a team and you’re both working towards the same goal. Don’t take your stress out on each other – talk things through and make decisions together or perhaps you can delegate some of the jobs to others you trust. If you need more help, ask. Neither of you is a mind reader, so you’ll need to speak up.

Costs

Decide on your theme and guest list before you even contemplate viewing any venues in person. This will also help determine your bottom line. There’s no point wasting your Saturday morning visiting a cavernous function centre which can seat 300 if you’re planning on an intimate day with just 60 of your best-loved family and friends.

Questions to ask:

• How much does the venue charge per person?
• Does it fit within your budget?
• Are any months or days of the year cheaper?
• Are special rates offered for daytime receptions?
• Is a tailored wedding package offered? If so, what does it include?
• Are substitutes within the package permissible?
• What deposit is required to secure the venue?
• How often do payments need to be made, and in what form?
• What is the venue’s cancellation policy?
• What are the penalties involved if the reception runs overtime unexpectedly?
• Is it possible to extend the standard reception hours? If so, what are the charges?
• What is the total cost estimate?

Atmosphere

When chosen correctly, the right wedding venue can complement the style of your wedding beautifully. For a romantic theme, consider a ceremony in the rotunda, followed by a buffet garden lunch. Or for a distinctly formal edge, perhaps try a three-course dinner followed by dancing in a fancy hotel ballroom.

Questions to ask:

• Does the venue lend itself to your theme?
• Does it fit your desired format (eg, sit-down dinner, cocktail party)?
• Will the space comfortably accommodate your number of guests?
• If you’re planning an outdoor ceremony and it ends up raining, is there an attractive, alternative indoor space available?
• What is the lighting and atmosphere like at the time you’re planning to hold your wedding? (It’s best to go and see the venue then.)
• Is a dressing room provided for the bridal party?
• Sum up the venue’s atmosphere in one word.

Guests

Make sure your guests will be comfortable and consider any special needs they may have. For example, cocktail parties can be great fun for guests of all ages, but oldies probably won’t be able to stay on their feet all night. Ensure their comfort isn’t overlooked by having chairs set up for them away from the boom of the music.

Questions to ask:

• How many tables can be set up in the room without it feeling too crowded (or too empty)?
• How many guests can comfortably be seated at each table?
• Will the dance floor be big enough to accommodate all your guests?
• Are there adequate toilet facilities for the number of guests?
• Is wheelchair access provided for guests who may require it?
• Is there an outdoor smoking area?
• What sort of parking is available?

Alcohol

The type of alcohol package you choose can make a huge difference to your final bill. Consider the drinking habits of your guests before you make this decision. If your fiancés mates are likely to down one handle after another from 6pm to midnight, you may be best to choose a cost-per-head package for a certain number of hours. If your crowd is more likely to savour a few glasses of quality wine each, a cost-per-bottle-consumed may make more sense.

Questions to ask:

• Does alcohol form part of the reception package? If so, what is included?
• Does the venue offer an open bar (including spirits) and at what cost?
• Can you bring your own alcohol in to the venue? (It’s cheaper) If so, what is allowed?
• Which brands/labels of beer and wine are offered, and is any brand substitution allowed?
• Is it possible to serve each guest a special welcome drink on arrival (like a fruity cocktail)?

Food

The meal served at a wedding will add to the experience, so whether you’re thinking buffet or banquet, take a good look at the menus on offer before picking your venue. If the meal is especially important to you, ask if a tasting is possible. And if you’re choosing a cocktail menu, ask how many pieces of each canapé will be provided for each guest – you don’t want people going hungry!

Questions to ask:

• What sort of cuisine and menu choices are offered by the venue?
• Can guests choose from the menu, or will it be an alternate service?
• Are any deviations from the menu permitted?
• Are vegetarian/dietary options available?
• Do they offer a tasting of the menu, and is it complimentary or an additional cost?
• Do you have to use one of their preferred caterers, or can you bring in your own?
• Is there a special rate for children’s and suppliers meals (eg, the band)?
• Can you substitute their dessert offering with your wedding cake?
• If the cake is provided as the part of the package, is there a cost if you bring in your own?
• Will the venue provide printed menus, or will you need to organise these yourself?

Music

The wedding music you choose should help to enhance the atmosphere. You may choose a variety of musicians to suit the different stages of the event – harpist as guests arrive for canapés, followed by a DJ playing subtle ballads during dinner, before upping the vibe for dancing. Ask the venue manager about technical details, like whether there’s adequate power.

Questions to ask:

• Is there room for a band or DJ, plus all their instruments and equipment?
• What equipment is provided for musicians (eg, power for a DJ’s speakers, space for your band to do dance routine as they sing)?
• Can you play your own music or bring your own entertainment?
• Are there any restrictions, such as a time when music must be turned off, or the use of smoke machines?
• Does the venue provide a dance floor, and if so, is this an additional cost?

Staff

This aspect is often overlooked, but supportive, professional staff can make all the difference when it comes to making your reception run smoothly. Not only do you want a reliable, organised, experienced wedding coordinator to run the show, but also competent wait staff who are knowledgeable about the food and wine they are serving, and are happy to help your guests with their individual needs.

Questions to ask:

• Does the venue have an in-house wedding coordinator? (Be sure to meet with them early on.)
• Will the coordinator be there in person to help run the event?
• Does the coordinator make you feel completely at ease and confident?
• Is the coordinator organised and prompt to respond to your emails or phone calls?
• Is the coordinator open to accommodating your individual needs and requests?
• What will the ratio be of serving staff to guests on the night?

Noise

Another event taking place at the same time as yours (such as in an adjacent room) can impact heavily on your reception. If you’re considering a venue with multiple rooms for hire, ask if they are likely to be in use on your wedding night, and whether they are sound-proof. You don’t want your wedding to be impacted if the next-door function asks for your music to be turned down during their speeches.

Questions to ask:

• Will you have exclusive use of the venue or will you be sharing it?
• Is it possible to hear noise from other events within the venue?
• By what time do you and your guests have to leave the premises?
• Are there any noise restrictions in and around the venue?

Distance

Remember, the shorter the distance between your ceremony and reception, the cheaper the car hire and the longer time you’ll have for photography. You’ll also need to consider logistics, such as how easy it will be for your guests to get from location A to B. This can impact on the starting time for your drinks – you don’t want half your guests to miss your grand entrance because they’re still in transit!

Questions to ask:

• How far away from the ceremony is the venue?
• Is the venue difficult for guests to get to?
• If the venue provides a getaway car as part of the package, how far will it take you?
• What parking is available at the venue itself, and do guests need to pay for it?
• If you charter a bus for your guests, is there somewhere for it to park while everyone alights?
• Will the venue order taxis for departing guests who haven’t driven?

There’s no denying that couples today are constantly on the go. Researchers have documented what they call ‘rush syndrome’, which kicks in when people find there are just not enough hours in the day to achieve what they want to do. Symptoms of this new ‘disease’ are similar to chronic fatigue syndrome, where energy is replaced by lethargy, and joie de vivre is lacking. Another drawback of our busy lives is that relationships can flounder as time slips by and couples begin to grow further apart. Many couples, therefore, face a double whammy – their health suffers and their relationship becomes more distant.

How to inject a little va-va-voom into your love life becomes a question that many need answered, and what many couples require is sheer closeness of proximity. Without intimacy, sharing, touching and closeness, relationships can become empty, often resembling an awkward friendship! Many couples who see me for guidance and relationship advice speak of marriages, or long term and short term (committed) relationships feeling like flatmate situations. For example, you share the same space, but that special something that once made your relationship unique has faded into the ether. Does this type of progression mean that all is lost? Is there light at the end of the proverbial relationship tunnel? Fortunately, for those experiencing these problems in their relationship, there is hope!

photo credit: Hygiene Matters

Energising your relationship could be no harder than energising yourself, and even better, this can be done with your partner! Both an unhealthy lifestyle and a flagging love life can be addressed in one hit – with exercise! We’ve all heard about the benefits of improving our nutrition and increasing our daily exercise, but have you considered improving your relationship and health at the same time?

Again and again research suggests that if you are feeling better about yourself (and are healthy) there are benefits across the board, particularly for relationships: Attention span and concentration improve, productivity increases, sex drive is heightened, ability to problem solve is enhanced, and desire to be confrontational is minimized.

Need I say more! Indeed, the five points about only scrape the surface of real relationship benefits that can occur if health and fitness are improved. There is also another positive outcome of committing – not only to your relationship but also to an exercise regime – you can exercise with your partner!

Some may baulk at the idea of training with their significant other, who might normally see them looking less sweaty, but do not underestimate the ‘AQ’ or Attractiveness Quotient of working out together. Once you get past the point where muscles ache and the body feels like it’s about to explode, you hit an oasis where biceps flex without much encouragement and abs are no longer considered ‘flabs’. When both of you see the effort the other puts into a regular exercise regime, you are often filled with pride at your partner’s achievement and you may begin to look at each other as less of a flatmate and more of a soul mate.

You may worry about how to keep up with a partner who has a higher level of fitness than you do. But fitness consultants can tailor workout programmes to an individual’s requirements to give you the best results and allow partners to work out together at different levels. The most important part is ‘being together’!

We’ve all heard the stories that proliferate with great monotony about women ‘letting themselves go’ after they’ve snagged their man and had children. This female centred stereotype conveniently seems to avoid the all to frequent images of men whose bellies become bigger that their belts. Letting yourself go is not a gender issue. It doesn’t discriminate and adds more fuel to the argument that as couples we should take up the challenge to work out – improving our health as we reduce the distance that may have grown between ourselves and our partner!

As with any major change, you’ll need to take tiny steps initially so that you’re comfortable with the transition. If your partner is reluctant, try to encourage them to do an activity they enjoy. Here are some quick tips to make the process a positive one:

1. BE organised and start exercising together at a time that suits both of you.
2. Break yourselves in gently with two to three, 45 minute fitness sessions. The first sessions should be relatively pleasant – walking, easy weights and other simple forms of cardio.
3. If you are gym phobic, consult a trainer for a programme that is designed to meet you individual needs and involves outdoor pursuits or indoor sports. You could also take turns to choose an activity – for variety and to ensure you both have a chance to experience exercise you enjoy.
4. If you need extra motivation, you could train for an event together, such as walking or running a half marathon.
5. Never rush to get your exercise fix. This should be quality relationship and health timeout!
6. Reward yourselves at the end of each session with a low fat drink, loads of water or a hug. The reward or reinforcement phase of any exercise routine almost ensures that participants will return for seconds – if the prize is right!

wedding.co.nz/play-together-stay-together/rear-view-of-a-couple-sitting-on-beach/”>There are also a number of sports that cater to both male and female needs in one hit. Netball, hockey, tennis and touch rugby are all popular sports that allow team interaction and all ability levels to come together on the same court or field – often more for fun and exercise that serious competition. Depending on your interests, you could also rollerblade, snowboard or kayak together, or why not learn partner dancing? Any of these sports combined with one or two other workouts will provide you with a routine that leaves you toned, taut and terrific!

People are often very intimidated by the concept of exercise. We are exposed to images of rippling muscles and golden tans, of beautiful women and men who resemble a Greek Adonis. In addition to this, there is often jealousy in relationships when one partner frequents a gym and the other doesn’t. It makes sense then to turn another potential relationship buster into a relationship enhancer. Exercise together, have some fun and learn to play together again!