Making Great Wedding Speeches

Public speaking comes naturally to some and not to others. Wedding speeches are no exception. If you are one of the lucky (or unlucky depending on how you look at it!) ones chosen, it will be because you are special to the bride and groom. Your speech will be a precious moment in their day that will be remembered for the rest of their lives (Probably more so if it is a terrible speech!).

Topping the list of a bloke’s worst fears are hypodermic needles and public speaking. Too bad then, that one of the traditional duties of the Best Man, Groom, Father of the Bride and often the Bride and/or her Bridesmaids, is their wedding speech. Don’t let your friends and family down – with some preparation and practice, you can make a delivery that will be a memorable part of this special occasion.

Or, you could simply relax and let someone else do the talking. The rules about wedding toasts and speeches are more relaxed these days, and this is no longer a man’s domain, with a new generation of confident brides and bridesmaids getting up on their feet and making themselves heard.

Alternatively, you could use a professional master of ceremonies or a relative/friend with the gift of the gab.

Timing is important, and this will depend on the mood. It’s best to start the toasts and wedding speeches earlier rather than later, before the alcohol fuels the mood, and only after guests have been seated. You could also stagger the speaking between courses. There is a trend to ‘open floor’ receptions where anyone can stand up, unplanned, and say something. This idea should be treated with caution, as it can be disruptive and someone may just say something inappropriate or offensive.

Grooms – it is also wise to talk with your future father-in-law during the planning of your toast or wedding speech. Let him know what you intend to say, when you plan to say it and whether he may like you to go first – he could be feeling a little nervous about the contents of your toast.

The basic rule for any speech preparation is practice, practice, practice! Deliver your toast in front of a mirror or someone who can give advice. Tape yourself practicing.

If you’re sticking to tradition, here are some basic pointers: The father of the bride makes a toast to the bride and groom: the groom toasts the bridesmaids: and the bestman thanks the groom for his kind words on behalf of the bridesmaids. A toast to absent friends, by the groom or father of the bride, is also appreciated. As previously mentioned, there are no hard and fast rules about who does what, and these roles can be easily allocated to other members of the bridal party.

photo credit: russelljsmith

Regardless of who makes the toast, there are some basic conventions – stand when you’re the one toasting, don’t drink a toast to yourself, and make it brief. Don’t ramble. Make it short and positive (a maximum of three minutes).

The best wishes and messages, normally read out by the bestman (and maybe also the groom if there are a lot of them), are prepared during the meal to make the process as seamless as the delivery of the speeches. The bestman traditionally slips in a few gag messages to add a touch of humour to the proceedings. The bridesmaids and bride could also fulfill this traditional role, which is one of the highlights for wedding guests.

If you get stuck with writing a wedding speech, seek help. After asking a few questions, a speechwriter should be able to tailor make a speech for you. Alternatively, you could follow another trend – which is to not have any speeches at all. But don’t let this exciting part of the wedding reception scare you.

Remember, it is your day – make it work for you.