Planning for a Future After the Wedding Day

Your wedding day will be the culmination of months of careful planning and preparation. But it’s also the starting point of you married lives together. Talking about your direction for the future will not only ensure that you’re both working toward the same thing, but will also help make reaching those goals easier and even more fun.

I once had a boyfriend who was preoccupied with planning for the future. On a large whiteboard in his bedroom he’d written lists of long-and short-term goals. Although his mania for planning did seem somewhat obsessive, I was impressed and excited to be going out with a guy who, in his mid 20s, was this motivated – so impressed, in fact, that it took me a while to notice I didn’t even rate a mention on this detailed map of his future.

Needless to say, our relationship didn’t work out, but it taught me the importance of being with someone who shares your view of the future and wants to get there with you by their side.

Being on the same page is what draws many couples together initially, but continuing on in the same direction helps ensure the success of their relationship. Before and during your engagement you will have discovered a great deal about each other’s likes, dislikes, hopes, fears and goals. But, although you may have already talked about these things, now is the time to really start fleshing out the details. Getting down to the nitty-gritty on some issues may seem premature, but the future has a habit of arriving sooner than we expect, so why not be as prepared as possible?

Those who’ve already been through a divorce or the break-up of a long-term relationship will be more acutely aware of the need to sort out important issues. They’re likely to have learnt the hard way that just because you love someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean you share the same standpoint on everything.

So what are these vital subjects we should be thinking and talking about? Roughly, they fall into three categories: living arrangements, finances and family.

Where will you live?

If you have already determined what city, or even country, you are going to live in, there is the practical matter of accommodation to sort out. For many couples nowadays this isn’t an issue, as it’s likely they’ve been cohabitating for months or even years before the wedding. Chances are that one or maybe even both of you already own a home, so it really just comes down to how best to manage your properties. Do you consolidate your assets and buy another house or rent one out and live in the other? If you’re currently renting, is this a lifestyle you both want to continue, or do you hope to buy your own home one day?

Ready to buy

When it comes to finding the perfect house, we all have different ideas. Make sure yours are in tune by writing out separate lists of your ‘must-haves’, ‘optionals’ and ‘definate no’s’. Compare your responses to see where they overlap and talk about any discrepancies. Before you start house-hunting, work out what you’re looking for: a house or an apartment; a modern/new house or a traditional/character home; how many bedrooms; if you require outdoor living space and off-street parking; which suburbs you’ll be looking in; and how much you’re prepared to pay.

Drive around your neighbourhood and point out what you like to see how similar your tastes are. Then, it’s just a matter of going to the open homes, finding something within your price range that suits your needs, and putting in an offer. Easy!

Finances

Money management is a vast and complicated area, and one usually at the centre of marital problems, so it’s best to consult a financial planner if you want to put in place any elaborate investment plans. But key issues you’ll need to go over as a couple include:

• How your finances will be combined. Do you want to retain separate bank accounts and open a joint account for household expenses? Consider whether your financial independence is worth the increase in bank fees.
• If you’ve already been together for three years, under the Matrimonial Property Act all your assets are considered to be owned equally by both parties. But there may be certain items, acquired before you met, that you want to keep separate. If this is the case, it’ll pay to visit a lawyer and have some sort of contract drawn up. Of you haven’t been together for three years then this is the time to legally sort out any issues over asset ‘ownership’ or financial matters.
• It’s wise to discuss your spending priorities. Some couples decide to spend the first few years paying off as much of their mortgage as they can. Others take a more leisurely approach, enjoying an annual holiday, socializing and keeping their wardrobe up to date, while gradually chipping away at the mortgage.
• What are your saving goals? You may want to have accumulated enough assets to retire at 55, but your partner might be the ‘spend now, worry later’ type. Talk about what compromises you can make to keep you both happy.