Play Together, Stay Together

Exercising together as a couple is not only great for your health, it’s also important for your relationship – it gives you a shared interest and quality time together, plus it helps to relieve stress that you may otherwise take out on each other.

There’s no denying that couples today are constantly on the go. Researchers have documented what they call ‘rush syndrome’, which kicks in when people find there are just not enough hours in the day to achieve what they want to do. Symptoms of this new ‘disease’ are similar to chronic fatigue syndrome, where energy is replaced by lethargy, and joie de vivre is lacking. Another drawback of our busy lives is that relationships can flounder as time slips by and couples begin to grow further apart. Many couples, therefore, face a double whammy – their health suffers and their relationship becomes more distant.

How to inject a little va-va-voom into your love life becomes a question that many need answered, and what many couples require is sheer closeness of proximity. Without intimacy, sharing, touching and closeness, relationships can become empty, often resembling an awkward friendship! Many couples who see me for guidance and relationship advice speak of marriages, or long term and short term (committed) relationships feeling like flatmate situations. For example, you share the same space, but that special something that once made your relationship unique has faded into the ether. Does this type of progression mean that all is lost? Is there light at the end of the proverbial relationship tunnel? Fortunately, for those experiencing these problems in their relationship, there is hope!

photo credit: Hygiene Matters

Energising your relationship could be no harder than energising yourself, and even better, this can be done with your partner! Both an unhealthy lifestyle and a flagging love life can be addressed in one hit – with exercise! We’ve all heard about the benefits of improving our nutrition and increasing our daily exercise, but have you considered improving your relationship and health at the same time?

Again and again research suggests that if you are feeling better about yourself (and are healthy) there are benefits across the board, particularly for relationships: Attention span and concentration improve, productivity increases, sex drive is heightened, ability to problem solve is enhanced, and desire to be confrontational is minimized.

Need I say more! Indeed, the five points about only scrape the surface of real relationship benefits that can occur if health and fitness are improved. There is also another positive outcome of committing – not only to your relationship but also to an exercise regime – you can exercise with your partner!

Some may baulk at the idea of training with their significant other, who might normally see them looking less sweaty, but do not underestimate the ‘AQ’ or Attractiveness Quotient of working out together. Once you get past the point where muscles ache and the body feels like it’s about to explode, you hit an oasis where biceps flex without much encouragement and abs are no longer considered ‘flabs’. When both of you see the effort the other puts into a regular exercise regime, you are often filled with pride at your partner’s achievement and you may begin to look at each other as less of a flatmate and more of a soul mate.

You may worry about how to keep up with a partner who has a higher level of fitness than you do. But fitness consultants can tailor workout programmes to an individual’s requirements to give you the best results and allow partners to work out together at different levels. The most important part is ‘being together’!

We’ve all heard the stories that proliferate with great monotony about women ‘letting themselves go’ after they’ve snagged their man and had children. This female centred stereotype conveniently seems to avoid the all to frequent images of men whose bellies become bigger that their belts. Letting yourself go is not a gender issue. It doesn’t discriminate and adds more fuel to the argument that as couples we should take up the challenge to work out – improving our health as we reduce the distance that may have grown between ourselves and our partner!

As with any major change, you’ll need to take tiny steps initially so that you’re comfortable with the transition. If your partner is reluctant, try to encourage them to do an activity they enjoy. Here are some quick tips to make the process a positive one:

BE organised and start exercising together at a time that suits both of you.
Break yourselves in gently with two to three, 45 minute fitness sessions. The first sessions should be relatively pleasant – walking, easy weights and other simple forms of cardio.
If you are gym phobic, consult a trainer for a programme that is designed to meet you individual needs and involves outdoor pursuits or indoor sports. You could also take turns to choose an activity – for variety and to ensure you both have a chance to experience exercise you enjoy.
If you need extra motivation, you could train for an event together, such as walking or running a half marathon.
Never rush to get your exercise fix. This should be quality relationship and health timeout!
Reward yourselves at the end of each session with a low fat drink, loads of water or a hug. The reward or reinforcement phase of any exercise routine almost ensures that participants will return for seconds – if the prize is right!

wedding.co.nz/play-together-stay-together/rear-view-of-a-couple-sitting-on-beach/”>There are also a number of sports that cater to both male and female needs in one hit. Netball, hockey, tennis and touch rugby are all popular sports that allow team interaction and all ability levels to come together on the same court or field – often more for fun and exercise that serious competition. Depending on your interests, you could also rollerblade, snowboard or kayak together, or why not learn partner dancing? Any of these sports combined with one or two other workouts will provide you with a routine that leaves you toned, taut and terrific!

People are often very intimidated by the concept of exercise. We are exposed to images of rippling muscles and golden tans, of beautiful women and men who resemble a Greek Adonis. In addition to this, there is often jealousy in relationships when one partner frequents a gym and the other doesn’t. It makes sense then to turn another potential relationship buster into a relationship enhancer. Exercise together, have some fun and learn to play together again!